Feedback

 In the past two days both Robby and Timmy have received unsolicited compliments from their teachers. Both boys were beaming with pride as they relayed the sentiments to us. I loved seeing the pride on their faces as they excitedly showed shared their stories with Scott and I. I'm glad that they value academic feedback so highly! Being back in the schools has provided me with an updated appreciation for the respect for education that my boys hold. I cannot imagine battling each day to simply go to school. 

Timmy absolutely adores his new school. Although the teachers and many of the students remained the same, the format and many of the programs have been adjusted for new platforms. I haven't seen him this enthusiastic about school and learning. He happily logs in each morning, excited to see his friends and continue the projects from the previous day.  It is hard to remember that this is the same kid who, just a few years ago, had me hiding in bathroom so that I could privately cry while stuffing my face with the contraband DoubleStuff Oreos.  

So far, everybody seems to be adjusting well to my new job.  Now if I could only figure out how to not be so exhausted at the end of each day... 

Walking Woman

 Work is going well. Yesterday I logged nearly 19,000 steps with my students. Although I was definitely tired by the end of the day, I also felt incredibly grateful that my leg is strong enough to keep me moving. I do not take the absence of sores and blisters for granted! Yesterday I impressed myself by going up and down now fewer than 10 flights of stairs with my students. 

Impressive feat for any 51 year old. As an amputee, I'm very proud of this accomplishment. Of course, I had to celebrate privately because my amputation is not visible at work. I really want the kids and my coworkers to get to know me and my abilities before they see 'what is missing.' Eventually I'll wear shorter pants or a skirt, but right now I'm sticking with pants. I know far too well how my prosthesis becomes my defining feature when people don't get to know me first.  

Although I'm busy, I find myself enjoying the drives between schools. It offers an opportunity to jam out to some music and unwind. Because I cover a total of 13 schools, I am driving across the county on a regular basis. I've discovered the cutest little shops and businesses along the routes. I can't wait to actually stop in sometime, but right now I'm far too busy playing catch up. Because I was hired 6 weeks into the school year, I'm pressed trying to provide all of the students with their promised time. It is definitely a challenge, but thankfully I'm up to it!

RISE UP

 

For every amputee who has ever felt like a number. This is for you. 

 

The government just announced an investigation that could lead to massive tariffs on prosthetics.

 

Let me translate what that really means for us.  What happens when the leg you walk on suddenly costs your prosthetist more to acquire than insurance will ever pay them?

 

Clinics close. Innovation STOPS. And we get left behind, fighting for outdated tech or facing impossible bills. As if battling insurance wasn't already a full-time job. 

 

So where is the outrage from the big patient organizations? Silence. 

Here’s the hard truth I’ve learned after two decades: The system isn't broken; it was built to work exactly this way.They don't tell you your 'local' clinic is secretly owned by a giant manufacturer. Why? Because you're not supposed to know who's really profiting from your body.  And the advocacy groups that claim to represent us? Their silence is deafening, bought and paid for by the same manufacturers writing their donation checks. 

 

To them, we're not people; we're purchase orders and patient quotas. Because of the incestuous relationship created when the manufacturer owns the clinician, the needs of the patient become secondary. They don't see our fight.

 

I'm done asking for a seat at their table. It’s time we build our own. 

I am creating a new channel for patient-led advocacy. No corporate cash. No hidden agendas. Just our voices, our power, our fight. We will share the information they hide and organize to protect our access to care.

Want in? Message me and follow this blog. I'll make sure you're on the list when we launch.

It’s time to rise up because we need to protect and empower ourselves. 

 

If you have read this far, thank you. I have heard this new venture described as AmputeeMommy gone Menopausal. Fairly apt description if it means I'm done dealing with the establishments.

Exhausted

 It's been an exhausting week as we settle into an entirely new routine. I knew that I would be tired coming home from work, but I did not anticipate the body aches that accompany this type of job. Squatting, getting on the floor and constant stair walking are not my favorite physical activities, yet they are all required heavily in my new job.

My students are all unique, entertaining and challenging. With ages ranging from preschool to high school, I get to be with kiddos from all ages. Although I've only worked with them once or twice so far, I am looking forward to our adventures this year. I really think I can make an impact, which I remind myself each evening when I'm hobbling around in pain. 

Physically I can do this job and eventually I won't be as sore. But these first few days have leveled me. Each night I've been grateful for my deep soaking tub. It is amazing how my muscles relax when they are encased in hot water. 

Timmy has done an amazing job by himself during the afternoons. He has been preparing his own lunch and making sure that he returns to class on time. I think he is enjoying the newfound freedom and responsibility because he certainly does not seem to miss me. 

Wrap Up

 Yesterday was a bit of a whirlwind as I met new students, staff and coworkers. Despite feeling out of sorts because I was in new places surrounded by new people, I quickly fell back into my O&M shoes. Situations and people may change, but the students remain unchanged. Each kiddo will present unique challenges and I think we are going to have a great year together. 

I had a great day with the kids, but my leg was achy but the time I got home. I can't remember the last time I couldn't wait to pop off my prosthesis and sit on the couch for awhile. It wasn't pain but my limb was just sore and tired. Thankfully a long bath helped ease the aches away. This will also probably be part of my routine for the foreseeable future. 

While I was working, Timmy was logged into school and barely noticed my absence. Not only did he not miss me, but he is relishing the newfound responsibility and independence. It seems that we are all ready for this new phase in our family.  

Back To School

 I am up early this morning, readying to embark on a new professional adventure.  The past few weeks have been a whirlwind as this opportunity seemed to fall together perfectly. Although I wasn't looking to return to my roots, this morning I will begin working again as an Orientation and Mobility Instructor in the schools.

Two Mondays ago, after seeing Scott off for what was sure to be another miserable day, I settled onto the couch with my email and a fresh cup of coffee. I noticed an email with the subject "Orientation and Mobility" and hovered my finger over the delete button. The nod to my first professional love took over and I eventually opened what I was sure was spam.

It turns out the email was from a recruiter who had been contracted to locate an Orientation and Mobility instructor for a local area. I replied, confirming that I am indeed an Orientation and Mobility instructor and I would love to hear more about the job. I wasn't terribly hopeful because I knew that my requirement of not starting until after Timmy begins his school day would be a nonstarter for most, but I figured it was worth a conversation. 

I was gobsmacked when I learned that the employer was flexible with the hours, offering me a position that allows me to be home for Timmy in the morning and when he gets off of school. Honestly, the hours could not be more perfect!  I am so grateful because I recognize most employers would not accommodate a 3/4 employee. 

So, after a nearly 2 decade hiatus of working full time in the schools, this morning I am going back.

Yes, I am feeling overwhelmed, scared, excited and just about every other emotion imaginable. It has been a really long time since I've walked into a professional setting knowing nobody. I feel overwhelmed with a lonely anxiety as I am getting ready this morning, nervous about spending the day with complete strangers. I've been hiding behind the keyboard for so long I am concerned I've forgotten how to be with people in real life. 

Wish me luck and please send me good thoughts today and throughout the week as we all adjust to this new adventure. 

Field Trip

 In a shift from the norm, yesterday I pulled Timmy from classes and took him on an impromptu adventure. (Before everybody comes at me, it was mostly educationally based.) True to tradition, Timmy did not know our destinations but he was delighted when I invited him to skip school with me. After jumping with delight, he dressed in record time so we could begin our adventures.

 I took him to the Udvar Hazy Space Museum, one of his favorite locations outside of Washington DC. He was delighted to return 'home' and was eager to check out his favorite exhibits. Because we arrived when the museum was opening, there were no lines for the simulators. Usually that section of the museum is very busy and I typically avoid it. But yesterday was special and I decided to include an experience in our adventure.

I let Timmy choose which simulator we were going to experience. He chose the fighter jet, which was the most complicated. I wasn't particularly worried because I can handle the jerky movements of virtual reality rides as long as I close my eyes.  So sure Timmy, let's be fighter pilots.

Crawling into the cock pit of our simulator plane, I was surprised by all of the straps we needed to utilize. I even commented to the attendant that the straps were a really nice touch. He looked at me and mumbled "You will go upside down." I assured him I would be fine because I'll simply close my eyes.

Again he warned me about going upside down before closing the cockpit door and locking us in. Strange warning I thought. But as the simulation began to rev to life I had a haunting realization- did he mean our capsule was going to go upside down?

Within 30 seconds of take off I had our virtual plane nosediving towards the ocean while Timmy and I were flipped upside down in our little capsule. Hanging like bats upside down frantically trying to figure out the controls to right ourselves. We crashed into the ocean.

The game reset, we were transported back to our normal alignment and took off again. Quickly we found ourselves again hanging upside down and laughing hysterically. The suction on my prosthesis broke and I could feel the leg start to shift. I told Timmy who was howling with laughter so much that he ended up farting, essentially hot boxing us with his noxious gas. 

We are terrible pilots but it was a lot of fun! I don't remember the last time we both laughed so much.