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I am a below knee amputee. More importantly, I am also Mommy to two boys, a very active eight year old (Robby) and an infant (Timmy). I have learned that being a parent with a disability can create some unusual and sometimes humorous situations. This blogger is available for hire! Let's talk and learn how a blog can expand your business.

Thursday, May 26, 2016

Sleep Regression

According to numerous Google searches, Timmy is experiencing 24 month sleep regression. He has been restless through the night and resumed his early wake ups. He is as reliable as a rooster, squawking before dawn each morning. Trudging out to desperately turn on my coffee pot, I have to admit that I miss my good little sleeper!

I was hoping that spending the day outside playing in the warm air and sunshine would have helped him sleep. We spent the afternoon playing in the yard, splashing on the water table and jumping on the trampoline.  By the time Scott pulled into the driveway Hamlet was a grubby little raggamuffin. Caked in mud, soaking wet and sticky from a lollipop, his smile was radiating. I was certain that a silent night was going to be my reward for an exhausting day of toddler play.

It turns out that I was the only one tired out from the play day. The fun only served to rev up Timmy, causing him to stir through the night and wake up even earlier. Maybe he is eager to start another day of fun?  I guess it is time to go back to the internet to search for other possible solutions to our sleep dilemma. 

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Sad Koopa News

I am going to have a sad little Koopa at the end of July. His friend Jack, with whom he has spent every waking moment when he isn't in school or sleeping, is moving to Florida. Robby has been delighted to have a friend across the street, and it breaks my heart that this experience will come to an end. I have loved watching him grow, flourish and mature with his new friendship. He is going to be heartbroken when he learns the news.

Scott and I are working on the best way to break the news. We are going to be direct, yet try to spin it in a way that Robby embraces the fact that his friendship is changing not ending. The pair will still be able to play games and record videos, and communication is just a click away. I know that it won't be the same, but different doesn't have to mean bad. At least, that is the angle we are going to take when we talk with him. 

I was beginning the second grade when my neighborhood friend moved away. I vividly remember standing in my living room, and from my window,watching her drive away. We tried to keep in touch for a few years. We shared some letters, a few phone calls and even fewer sleepovers. I remember the last time I slept over at her house. I felt relieved when my Mom came to pick me up the next morning. Our friendship had changed into an awkward relationship bound only by memories. Who knows, maybe with Skype Robby's friendship won't experience the same fate. 

Upon hearing the news of the move, I immediately began to formulate a friendship triage plan. I know that I won't be able to completely shield Robby from the pain, but perhaps I can help to buffer the blow. Contrary to instinct, I am not going to overly encourage the pair to spend as much time together as possible. The last thing that I want is for Robby to become so friendship dependent that he feels lost when they are separated. Instead, I am going to gently encourage other friendships to blossom. From special day trips with school friends to cultivating relationships at the pool, this is going to be the summer of expanding friendships.  Hopefully strengthening Robby's circle will help to buffer the blow when his best friend moves away.

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Sad Day

Perhaps the dreary weather has caught up with my mood because yesterday I woke up feeling sad. I had no organic reason for my blue mood, but I just couldn't seem to shake feeling depressed. Playing outside with Timmy during a brief break in the weather helped to serve as a distraction but my mood never truly lifted.  If I had my druthers, I would have hibernated with a bag of chocolate under a mound of blankets all day. Of course, my maternal and professional obligations interfered with that plan so I put on a happy face and tried to make it through the day.

I spent too much time in the morning sipping on my coffee while fretting about the boys. Although logically I knew that they are great kids, I began to worry if I was failing them as a mother. By the time Scott woke up I was almost in tears, convinced that I had made all of the wrong parental moves. It was in that moment that I realized I was in for a long and emotional day.

I'm not sure what caused my downtrodden mood, but I suspect it was a combination of the weather and menopause. Regardless of the reasons, the feelings were real and miserable to endure. I quickly accepted that everybody was going to be better off if I just trudged my way through the day while trying to reflect as little as possible.

As the day wore on and fatigue began to set in, my mood only worsened. After Timmy went to bed I waved the white flag and curled up under the covers. I felt asleep quickly, and I'm happy to report that I'm feeling better this morning.  I can already tell that today is going to be a great day!

Monday, May 23, 2016

Limp Defense

I am so glad that I opted to pick up Robby from school early (he has the option of half days on Fridays) so that we could go to the farm. The weather was nearly perfect with warm temperatures and bright and sunny skies. We spent the afternoon playing and exploring before we boarded the wagon for the strawberry fields. Robby and I picked 6 quarts of strawberries while Timmy snitched more than I care to admit. Hamlet was covered with sticky berry juice and dirt by the time we loaded up in the wagon to return to our car. 

I'm thankful that we picked so many berries on Friday because I now fear that the plants are under water. We have received nearly nonstop rain since Saturday, modulating between a steady stream to torrential downpours. With the exception of Friday afternoon, the weekend weather was utterly miserable!

My leg is starting to react to the damp weather. Between the jitterbug kicking at night and the sensation that my phantom ankle is twisting, I have been cognizant of my limb loss over the past few days. I have maintained my mobility, but I have been limping.

Scott pointed out my limp yesterday morning.  I know it is silly, but hearing a critique of my gait, regardless of how well intended it is offered, always frustrates me.  When I am in pain I know that my walking is compromised. Having it pointed out only leaves me angry, even when I logically know that was not the intent.  Out of frustration with myself and the pain more than him, I barked a curt response to his well-meaning observation. (Yes, I did apologize later.)

The weather will clear out soon, and my walking will return to normal. I am looking forward to spending more time outside playing in the sunshine with the boys. Hopefully the sun will come out tomorrow!

Friday, May 20, 2016

Berry Picking

I had a nice birthday. I met my Mom for lunch and, contrary to all precedent, Timmy was delightful in the restaurant. He was charming and playful throughout the lunch, allowing me to actually enjoy my meal.

Robby "surprised" me with cupcakes after school. (Considering that I had to drive him to the bakery, I had a strong suspicion about the gift. But I played along because he was excited and I didn't want to diminish his thoughtful gesture.) Scott gave me a beautiful photo charm of the boys so that I can always wear them close to my heart.  I finished off the day with yoga, which was enjoyable yet confusing at the same time.

Today we are planning on taking full advantage of the sunshine and warm temperatures. Robby has a half day of school so Timmy and I will pick him up at lunchtime and head to the farm. I read that their strawberry fields are overflowing with ripe yummy berries, and I can't wait to start picking.  I hope to pick enough to make jam and syrup tomorrow, when we are experiencing our predicted two inches of rain. 

Robby is an excellent strawberry harvester, but his little brother definitely needs some work. We went to a small field last weekend, and Timmy only managed to pick two berries. He clutched one in each hand, squeezing them with pride until he was a juicy mess.  Hopefully we will be able to convince him to part with a few in the bucket this time, but I'm not overly confident. 

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Happy Birthday to ME!

Happy Birthday to me!

I'm not terribly thrilled about being 42, but I suppose it beats the alternative. I keep reminding myself to embrace the age, but that is easier said than done. I've decided to channel denial by avoiding thinking about the number. After all, the only way to stop aging is to die and that certainly is not an option!

Today I'm going to spend the morning playing outside with Timmy (the rain has finally stopped) before meeting my Mom for lunch. In the afternoon I'm planning an extra long bike ride with Robby, followed by a nice dinner (which I don't have to cook). In the evening I am going to yoga, finishing the day with cake.  I'm going to spend the day with my favorite people, which is the perfect way to celebrate.  

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

No Known Reasons

Between my leg jitterbug kicking all night and Timmy constantly waking up, last night was low on sleep. I have no reason to explain either factor although that hasn't stopped me from trying to figure it out. In the middle of the night while rocking an upset Timmy, my sleep deprived mind was churning.

I haven't changed sockets and I don't have any open sores on my leg so the typical jitterbug culprits aren't present. It is rainy, which sometimes impacts my leg nerves, but the weather has been wet for almost three weeks. My leg hasn't been impacted but perhaps a different weather front is at play.  In reality, I think it was just one of those weird amputee issues that pops up from out of nowhere to remind me that I shouldn't take the absence of pain for granted. 

As for Timmy's insomnia, I have even fewer theories. He didn't seem to be in pain, nor was he sick. His room wasn't too hot or cold, and he wasn't hungry or wet. The only way I could calm him back to sleep was to hold and rock him, so perhaps he was experiencing nightmares.

Whatever the reasons, it was a long night. We're in for yet another day of dreary weather which does not do anything to help my tired mood. Hopefully all of the stars will align, and we can both take a nap today.