Riding Worries

Before I became an amputee I was fearless while riding a bicycle. I don't mean to imply that I was a daredevil, because that is certainly not true.  I've never been into performing tricks or acrobatics, but I was carefree. I used to feel both naturally comfortable and at ease, with no concern about falling and becoming injured.

It took nearly a decade after my amputation for me to regain my confidence to get back onto my bike. The hesitation wasn't because I wasn't physically ready. After my amputation, I had developed a paralyzing fear of falling off of a bike. 

It wasn't until Robby began to beg for me to join him on bike rides that I decided I needed to conquer my phobia. It took months of reflection and incremental steps for me to gain the confidence to start riding my bike again. It wasn't easy, but I am now able to ride with the kids through our neighborhood. Even though I'm riding, my worries and fears still haunt me with each turn of the pedal.

I have gone from being carefree to cautious. I was hopeful that my riding anxiety would lessen as I gained more experience in the saddle, but instead, I have only become more adept at masking my fears. The speed and freedom from my pre-amputation life have been replaced with a slow pace and intense (and sometimes exhausting) caution. 

Yesterday Scott was teasing me because of my slow and methodical pace. He wasn't trying to be mean, but I don't think he grasps the gravity of my fears. Given the depth of my falling anxiety, I think just riding through the neighborhood at a granny pace is a victory!

My Little Climber

I don't like Timmy running around the yard when the lawnmower/ weed wacker are in use. I suppose I have too many friends who have become amputees because of childhood accidents involving landscaping tools. In order to keep him safe, I try to keep him either inside or away from the house while the majority of the work is in progress.

Yesterday while Scott and Robby were busy with yard work, I took the opportunity to take Timmy on a little solo adventure. We have noted huge improvements in his behavior over the past week and I wanted to reward the positive changes. He has been asking to go to a rock wall, so I figured that it was the perfect time to grant his wish.

My little climber was ecstatic when I invited him to go to the rock wall gym. He sang "Baby Shark" the entire drive, and was smiling from ear to ear as he was getting geared up. He looked so little flanked by the massive rock walls of the climbing gym! Without hesitating, he started to scale the first wall.

Timmy is little, but he is persistent. It took him a few times to get comfortable with the ropes and to feel safe, but as soon as comfort was established there was no stopping him. He concentrated, worked, climbed and pulled his way to the top of the tall structures for 90 minutes. He would have kept going, but I was worried about the blisters on his hands and I didn't want him to overdo it.

It is safe to say that Timmy is the best climber in our family.

Riding

Cooler temperatures have arrived and we could not be happier. I realize that this respite will be short-lived and that summer is forecast to return by the end of the week, but I am choosing to live in the moment. It feels so good to again be comfortable. 

The break in the heat has provided the opportunity for my leg to normalize. The swelling almost immediately receded as soon as the heatwave broke, providing me with some overdue prosthetic relief. Being able to wear my leg without the discomfort and limitations from limb swelling is simply wonderful. 

With my leg feeling better and the weather comfortable, yesterday we were able to play outside. Timmy put his shoes on in record time when I asked him if he wanted to play in the yard. He loves being outside and has become antsy with our indoor play dictate during the heatwave. Much like a dog who has been inside all day, Timmy went running outside as soon as I unlocked the door. 

It didn't take long for him to make his way to our garage to retrieve his bicycle. By the time I made it outside, I found him riding up and down the driveway, singing Baby Shark and grinning from ear-to-ear. I decided that it was a perfect day to join him, so I hopped onto my bike and we went on a long ride through the neighborhood, exploring every side street and stopping to pick blackberries. My little guy was so happy to again be on two wheels! 

My leg is still feeling great today, so I think we will spend a good deal of the afternoon outside. I plan on soaking up every moment of our good weather before the heat returns.

Relief

Finally!  

The rain arrived last night, bringing cooler temperatures to our area. As the rain began to fall, our house became more comfortable. I am so happy with this respite from the overwhelming heat. I am definitely not made for hot weather.

Yesterday morning Timmy and I worked on a new woodworking project. I was impressed with his concentration and his ability to follow instructions. My little feral wild-child seems to be settling down, which is a welcome improvement. After working for nearly an hour with my supervision, he constructed his very own pirate chest.  

The next few hours were spent playing pirates, a game for which I am aptly suited. Robby even got into the action, playing the role of Invader Pirate Brober who kept stealing and hiding our treasure. It was fun having everybody playing and laughing together. I saw a glimmer of hope that, someday, the boys might have mutual interests and share activities.  

As the heat built throughout the afternoon we sought refuge at the bowling alley. (The boys were both delighted that their daddy bowled with them.) By the time we returned home the storms were beginning to form so we spent the rest of the night playing and watching movies.  

I am hoping that the break in the heat will provide relief from my limb swelling. My leg has been feeling both tight and uncomfortable, forcing me to frequently stop to release the pressure and to slip it off. I am ready for the temperatures, and my body, to normalize!

HeatWave

After nearly two weeks away, Friday afternoon we packed up and headed back to Virginia. We had a fantastic time with the Cousin Crew (and spending time with my Mom), but it was nice to return home. With nearly two weeks packed with day trips and adventures, I am happy for a little downtime to recover and relax. Of course, Robby is already missing his cousins and is peeking at the calendar to schedule a return visit.

In case you have missed the news, the past few days have been beyond hot. It has been take-your-breath-away, knock-you-to-your-knees and melt-you-into-a-pile oppressively hot. Despite our large A/C unit and a variety of fans, we were not able to keep the house comfortable. 

Saturday the heat became so overwhelming and miserable that we decided to pack up and head to a hotel for a night. We checked in, cranked the A/C unit to high and headed to the indoor pool for a few hours. We had a great time and it was a wonderful way to beat the heat!

Our heatwave continues today but it is forecast to break tonight. Fingers crossed that we receive some relief from the obscene temperatures. I'm too old and too fat to handle triple digits with a heat index in the 120s.