Feeling Normal

True to the forecast, we went from bundling up in sweatshirts to wearing tank tops and turning on the air conditioning. Yesterday it reached 90 degrees, which was unseasonably warm for this area. After the three weeks of nonstop cold rain, I'm certainly not complaining about the warm temperatures. The boys were just as delighted, especially when I pulled out the water guns and sprinkler to help them stay cool in the afternoon.

I am delighted with the hot weather, although the sudden rise in temperatures was a bit of a shock to our systems. I happily dug out my shorts (and quickly shaved my leg) for the advent of our sudden summer. Timmy had a bit of a struggle adjusting to wearing shorts, he kept pulling at the fabric trying to get it to stretch over his knees.

It turns out that Timmy wasn't the only one to experience "short shock." After wearing jeans and pants for several months, I have become accustomed to blending in with everybody else. Walking around with my prosthetic suddenly visible, I was taken aback by the stares and curious glances. I felt like a sideshow attraction on display just walking down the aisles of my grocery store. Even though I knew the reason, part of me wanted to abandon my cart and hide from the attention.

I experience the "attention shock" on a yearly basis, and I know that it will be short lived.  In a few days I won't be phased by the attention, and it will become my new norm. In the meantime, I need to keep my head up high and act comfortable and confident. Soon I will no longer be acting, and I'll again feel "normal."

Sleep Regression

According to numerous Google searches, Timmy is experiencing 24 month sleep regression. He has been restless through the night and resumed his early wake ups. He is as reliable as a rooster, squawking before dawn each morning. Trudging out to desperately turn on my coffee pot, I have to admit that I miss my good little sleeper!

I was hoping that spending the day outside playing in the warm air and sunshine would have helped him sleep. We spent the afternoon playing in the yard, splashing on the water table and jumping on the trampoline.  By the time Scott pulled into the driveway Hamlet was a grubby little raggamuffin. Caked in mud, soaking wet and sticky from a lollipop, his smile was radiating. I was certain that a silent night was going to be my reward for an exhausting day of toddler play.

It turns out that I was the only one tired out from the play day. The fun only served to rev up Timmy, causing him to stir through the night and wake up even earlier. Maybe he is eager to start another day of fun?  I guess it is time to go back to the internet to search for other possible solutions to our sleep dilemma. 

Sad Koopa News

I am going to have a sad little Koopa at the end of July. His friend Jack, with whom he has spent every waking moment when he isn't in school or sleeping, is moving to Florida. Robby has been delighted to have a friend across the street, and it breaks my heart that this experience will come to an end. I have loved watching him grow, flourish and mature with his new friendship. He is going to be heartbroken when he learns the news.

Scott and I are working on the best way to break the news. We are going to be direct, yet try to spin it in a way that Robby embraces the fact that his friendship is changing not ending. The pair will still be able to play games and record videos, and communication is just a click away. I know that it won't be the same, but different doesn't have to mean bad. At least, that is the angle we are going to take when we talk with him. 

I was beginning the second grade when my neighborhood friend moved away. I vividly remember standing in my living room, and from my window,watching her drive away. We tried to keep in touch for a few years. We shared some letters, a few phone calls and even fewer sleepovers. I remember the last time I slept over at her house. I felt relieved when my Mom came to pick me up the next morning. Our friendship had changed into an awkward relationship bound only by memories. Who knows, maybe with Skype Robby's friendship won't experience the same fate. 

Upon hearing the news of the move, I immediately began to formulate a friendship triage plan. I know that I won't be able to completely shield Robby from the pain, but perhaps I can help to buffer the blow. Contrary to instinct, I am not going to overly encourage the pair to spend as much time together as possible. The last thing that I want is for Robby to become so friendship dependent that he feels lost when they are separated. Instead, I am going to gently encourage other friendships to blossom. From special day trips with school friends to cultivating relationships at the pool, this is going to be the summer of expanding friendships.  Hopefully strengthening Robby's circle will help to buffer the blow when his best friend moves away.

Sad Day

Perhaps the dreary weather has caught up with my mood because yesterday I woke up feeling sad. I had no organic reason for my blue mood, but I just couldn't seem to shake feeling depressed. Playing outside with Timmy during a brief break in the weather helped to serve as a distraction but my mood never truly lifted.  If I had my druthers, I would have hibernated with a bag of chocolate under a mound of blankets all day. Of course, my maternal and professional obligations interfered with that plan so I put on a happy face and tried to make it through the day.

I spent too much time in the morning sipping on my coffee while fretting about the boys. Although logically I knew that they are great kids, I began to worry if I was failing them as a mother. By the time Scott woke up I was almost in tears, convinced that I had made all of the wrong parental moves. It was in that moment that I realized I was in for a long and emotional day.

I'm not sure what caused my downtrodden mood, but I suspect it was a combination of the weather and menopause. Regardless of the reasons, the feelings were real and miserable to endure. I quickly accepted that everybody was going to be better off if I just trudged my way through the day while trying to reflect as little as possible.

As the day wore on and fatigue began to set in, my mood only worsened. After Timmy went to bed I waved the white flag and curled up under the covers. I felt asleep quickly, and I'm happy to report that I'm feeling better this morning.  I can already tell that today is going to be a great day!

Limp Defense

I am so glad that I opted to pick up Robby from school early (he has the option of half days on Fridays) so that we could go to the farm. The weather was nearly perfect with warm temperatures and bright and sunny skies. We spent the afternoon playing and exploring before we boarded the wagon for the strawberry fields. Robby and I picked 6 quarts of strawberries while Timmy snitched more than I care to admit. Hamlet was covered with sticky berry juice and dirt by the time we loaded up in the wagon to return to our car. 

I'm thankful that we picked so many berries on Friday because I now fear that the plants are under water. We have received nearly nonstop rain since Saturday, modulating between a steady stream to torrential downpours. With the exception of Friday afternoon, the weekend weather was utterly miserable!

My leg is starting to react to the damp weather. Between the jitterbug kicking at night and the sensation that my phantom ankle is twisting, I have been cognizant of my limb loss over the past few days. I have maintained my mobility, but I have been limping.

Scott pointed out my limp yesterday morning.  I know it is silly, but hearing a critique of my gait, regardless of how well intended it is offered, always frustrates me.  When I am in pain I know that my walking is compromised. Having it pointed out only leaves me angry, even when I logically know that was not the intent.  Out of frustration with myself and the pain more than him, I barked a curt response to his well-meaning observation. (Yes, I did apologize later.)

The weather will clear out soon, and my walking will return to normal. I am looking forward to spending more time outside playing in the sunshine with the boys. Hopefully the sun will come out tomorrow!