Dating Post Amputation

Throughout my 20's, I attended a lot of weddings. It seemed that all of my friends were falling in love and starting new lives simultaneously. Now it feels like the tide is flowing the other way as relationships are ending and divorces are being filed. I have lost track of the number of friends who are going through a divorce, and the figure keeps rising.  

With all of my newly single friends, I re-entered the dating world vicariously through their experiences. (I have never been happier to be content and married. Dating in today's social world feels like an overwhelming nightmare!) Between dating apps, matchmaking programs, and social meet-ups, the entire process of connection has dramatically changed in the past 20 years. 

Helping my newly single friends explore their connection options, I began to wonder how I would disclose my limb loss to potential suitors. I wouldn't want to hide it because I am not ashamed of my amputation. However, I'm certain that calling attention to the amputation in a profile would attract devotees.  Dating is hard enough. Advertising to devotees would make the process overwhelming and, I would worry, increase the danger.  

So how would I handle my amputation on a dating app? I would probably not mention it directly in my profile. The omission would not be out of shame but more an exercise in caution. While I wouldn't mention it in the text of my profile, I might include a photo of me in which the prosthesis is visible. (The photo would not be my profile picture but would be included in the bio, only after the individual has clicked to learn more.) By including a photo of me with my prosthesis, I would be trying to communicate that I am an active and happy woman who happens to live with an amputation.

Dave and I discussed dating apps and amputation on this week's podcast. While neither of us has found ourselves in the situation, it was interesting to talk it out and to conjecture.  

Ice and Snow

Timmy had a fantastic time playing in the snow. Between throwing snowballs and burying me to create a "SnowMomster," he definitely took full advantage of his playing opportunity. (Because the snow switched to sleet and freezing rain in the afternoon, we only went outside in the morning.) The afternoon was spent with Timmy playing inside while Robby worked on his schoolwork and while I continued cleaning my house.

My decluttering project continues to progress. I have now finished my kitchen, the bathroom, our dining room, and the hallway closet. On Monday Scott put out 12 boxes for the donation truck, and we have already filled another two. In addition to making donations, we have filled countless trash bags. I'm embarrassed that we have so much stuff in our house.

Contrary to the weather predictions, we still have snow this morning. Yesterday's rain was originally forecasted to arrive with warmer temperatures, resulting in massive melting. It turns out that the warmer temperatures never arrived, so now we have snow covered in a thick sheet of ice.  I avoid ice at all costs! Timmy will be disappointed when I refuse to venture outside until the sidewalks and walking surfaces have been treated, but safety takes priority over playing.

Snow Day!

Snow Day (again!)

Once again our winter wonderland has returned to our yard, blanketing everything with beautiful (and fun) white fluff. Schools closed last night in anticipation of the storm, leading to the traditional Snow Day dance by the boys. Timmy has started to join the celebration, making the scene utterly adorable. I hope that we have at least one more snow day this year so I can try to sneak a video.


We are expected to receive a few inches of snow, and by the rate that it is falling, I think the estimate might be on the low side. In another hour or so will be able to head outside sledding, which will surely delight my little snow adventurers. Today will be spent getting ready to play in the snow, playing in the snow and warming up and drying everything before heading back outside to play in the snow.  Thankfully my anxiety lifted yesterday and I slept well. I think today I'm going to need my energy!

Panic and Pain

Another storm is moving into the area, and true to form, I didn't need the Weather Channel to take note. I woke up this morning moving like the Tin Man before he was thoroughly oiled. I'm hoping that some ibuprofen and a strong cup of coffee can work similar magic on this middle-aged lady.

In truth, my weather aches and pains aren't the only reason I'm feeling off today. I woke up at 2 in the throws of anxiety and panic. I tried everything to calm my worry-flooded mind, but nothing worked. As the minutes ticked by in the darkness, my anxiety only increased as I also began to fret about the missed sleep.

I am not sure what triggered the anxiety. Much like my phantom pain, both come from out of nowhere and have the ability to ruin my day. I'm thankful that my anxiety has considerably lessened over the past few years. Usually one of my coping techniques works quickly whenever I sense the impending dread and doom sensations. Unfortunately, last night was one of the rare times that nothing seemed to work.

Hopefully the exhaustion that I began to fear during the insomnia will not materialize, and my day will go smoothly.  I have no doubt that tomorrow will be spent shoveling snow, sledding and throwing snowballs with the boys, so I am going to encourage calmer activities today. I'm tired, and my body hurts. A  quiet day on autopilot will be welcome.

Reunited

Yesterday my Mom's house was filled with giggles and activity because the Cousin Crew was finally reunited. The cousins were delighted to again be together and returned to their normal activities without missing a beat. I love the energy in the house when they are all under the same roof!

In the afternoon I took the kids, Timmy included, Geocaching. Although we weren't successful they had a blast. After several attempts, we abandoned our quest and headed out for ice cream instead. By their logic, it was too cold for Geocaching but the perfect temperature for a frozen treat.

After Timmy went to bed the big kids brought out the card games. We played "Not Parent Approved" and "What do you Meme" for hours. We tried a new game, Quelf, which I highly recommend. My oldest nephew laughed so hard that his nose started to bleed. If you have tweens or teens in your house, I cannot recommend Quelf enough! It is definitely a new family favorite activity.

We finished the evening by binging on junk food and assembling Blessing Bags for those living without a home. The Crew has been asking to assemble bags since the summer. I love their giving spirit and collective thoughtfulness towards others.

Today we are heading back home. I'll be sad to leave, but we had a good visit. I wish that the Crew could have been together longer, but during the school year, it is nearly impossible. They go to their Dad's every weekend, leaving no time to visit with us.