Reflections on a Difficult Year

Happy 2016!

My new calendar is hanging in the kitchen, and 2015 is officially stuffed into a shelf on my closet. It definitely wasn't the easiest year, and I am not ashamed to admit that I am happy to see it go. I can't help but think about everything that has transpired during the past twelve months.  Although it wasn't all bad, the losses were definitely what sprang to mind first.

Almost a year ago today I received a phone call from my Dad which dropped me to my knees. He was diagnosed with advanced pancreatic cancer. In that moment, everything changed. My life became consumed with his care and happiness. I am so thankful for Scott and my Mom for rallying to take care of the boys so that I could stay with my Dad in Texas.  His death was difficult to bear, and I continue to feel his loss.

My Uncle George (my Mom's brother) also passed away this year. He became suddenly ill and passed away quickly. I am glad that he didn't suffer, although I regret that my Mom didn't get to see him to say goodbye.

I can't help but remember Pat, who was a dedicated reader of this blog and became a friend. He and his wife Mary came to stay with us as they were moving to New Mexico. Pat passed away this year. I miss his witty comments on my blog and Facebook page. 

Although this was a year of losses, our family also had some wonderful adventures. At the top of the list was our trip to Arizona.  Although I was working, Scott and Robby were able to take what has been dubbed the "epic father and son trip."  The pair continue to reminisce and smile about their vacation adventures.

Hamlet has grown by leaps and bounds this year.  He is now walking (although prancing would be a more apt description since he seems to have only one speed), and babbling up a storm. He has shown himself to be curious, mischievous and silly. He smiles from the moment he wakes up until he is put in his crib at night. We are so lucky to have such a happy little toddler!

It is hard to focus and reflect upon the happier moments of the past year, but today I am trying. Our little family has had a wonderful year despite the losses that we experienced. In a way we were brought closer through our grief, and for that I could not be happier.  Although I become frustrated, anxious and stressed, I really do have the best family and friends to support me through whatever challenges come my way.

I am looking forward to the next twelve months. I have a brand new calendar with empty spaces just waiting to be filled. I can't wait to find out what is in store for our family!

2015

Happy New Years Eve!

I have no aspirations of experiencing a glamorous New Year's Eve celebration this year. I have a toddler, and I have  accepted my current reality. I will be in bed promptly at 9:00, with the covers pulled up to my chin and my head on a pillow. On the bright side, Hamlet and I will be wide awake at 4 AM, which is midnight in Alaska so in a way I will still be celebrating.

I continue to hate New Years and all of the revelry that it involves. New Years epitomizes not only the turning of the calendar but also reflecting on the accomplishments and failings of the past twelve months. In my opinion, there is no better way to squelch the remnants of the Christmas spirit than forced reflection.

This year I am going to avoid the montages of celebrities who have died during 2015. I'm going to walk away from the news stories streaming highlights (which seem to be nothing but senseless tragedies) from the past year.  Instead, I am going to play with Timmy and Robby as we try to enjoy the last few days of Christmas vacation.

New Opinion

My second opinion went well.  I really liked the doctor, which speaks volumes. I appreciated the length of time that he spent talking with me and explaining my options. He disagrees with the original doctor concerning my benefiting from pelvic floor physical therapy. This new doctor doesn't feel that it would be effective in my situation, and recommended a less invasive surgery. 

I have some insurance hoops to hop through first (the story of my life) but I plan on proceeding my surgical treatment with the new doctor. Pelvic organ prolapse is all that he does, and I was impressed by both his knowledge and his bed side manner. While I am not delighted about the confirmation that  surgery is required, I am not surprised and I am delighted that I will not have to undergo the physical therapy.

When I came back to my Mom's after the appointment I was a tad sore, so I spent the afternoon watching Robby and Timmy play with their cousins. I just love hearing them squeal and laugh as they run around the house. Everybody went to sleep exhausted with a smile on their face from playing so hard!

Today I will head back home, but not before I take the kiddos on one epic adventure.  I don't want to reveal details now, because it is a surprise and my niece now knows how to find my blog on the computer.  :)

Second Opinion

After much thought, I have decided to secure a second opinion concerning the multiple organ prolapse I am experiencing. I am willing to undergo the physical therapy if it is warranted, but something in my gut (no pun intended) keeps telling me that it isn't the correct course. I don't know if this feeling stems from my not wanting to endure the therapy, or if I am correct in believing it isn't the correct medical intervention.

Part of me believes that the therapy was prescribed as an effort for the surgeon to delay the operation due to his hectic schedule. Since he has assumed the patients for another doctor who is recovering from hip surgery, his case load has almost doubled. The receptionists and the surgeon made it abundantly clear that they were overbooked because of the situation. I left the office with an overwhelming feeling that my issues were being put off because of their scheduling conflicts.

Today I am going for my much anticipated second opinion. I'm not looking forward to the examination, but at least now I will know what to expect.  I'm nervous but I'm trying to remain optimistic. At this point I am anxious to see if the prescribed course of action is similar to what was already suggested.  Hopefully I will leave the appointment with a plan that makes sense, but I'm worried that I'll end up more confused.

Holiday Wrap-Up

We had a wonderful Christmas. We decided several years ago to stop traveling on Christmas, instead opting to stay home to allow Robby (and now Timmy) an opportunity to enjoy their surprises. The decision frustrated some, but it was the best choice for our family.

Robby was delighted with his Wii U from Santa, and couldn't wait to start playing. He was absolutely speechless when he unwrapped the TV which accompanied his gift. Scott immediately went to work mounting the television in our playroom, and it didn't take Robby long to realize that he now has a designated gaming area. Other than meandering out for food and drinks, we really didn't see him much after his gaming center was assembled.

Timmy was delighted with his ride-on train, happily chug-chug-chugging around the living room. He even learned to wave goodbye, which he practiced each time he rode by the couch. He is too young to realize the source or the reasons behind his surprises, but I know he was delighted.

Saturday morning we woke up and immediately began to remove the Christmas tree lights. The combination of the ride-on train and the tree, along with all of the other toys, made navigating the living room into an obstacle course.  Although we had a fantastic holiday season, I was ready to move forward.