Better!

For the first time in nearly a week, I slept soundly. The phantom pain, which had been visiting nightly, finally retreated. The absence of pain is liberating.

I can't remember ever suffering from phantom pain for such an extended period of time. During the days I was fine, but almost as soon as I took off my leg in bed the electricity started to shoot through my limb. I'd guess that I only slept 3-4 hours each night because of the constant shocking and jumping of my leg. 

Last night I slept for nearly 9 hours! It is amazing what a good night sleep can do for both the body and emotions. I am feeling better today. The frustration and stress that was weighing me down throughout the week has evaporated. I feel like myself again!

This weekend I'm going to focus on returning to normal and setting up my daily routine for success. I think I need to invest more time during the weekend to help make our days run smoother. Without the pain weighing me down, I feel energized and ready to tackle the challenges.

Sad

Well, I appear to be in an official funk. My mood is down and my leg still hurts. Simply put, I'm miserable. This afternoon I'm going to log off for a few hours to play outside with Timmy. I always feel lighter after spending a few hours in the fresh air with my happy little Hamlet. Hopefully today will not be any different. 

I don't want to bring anybody else into my mood, so this blog will be short. I'm looking forward to writing happier words tomorrow. 

:)

Sad

After spending another night in tears, I have come to the conclusion that I am in desperate need of an escape. An escape from reality, from the news, from work stress, from my leg pain, from my family bickering and from cyber school stress. Although we have been so fortunate compared to far too many people (we haven't lost our jobs or our lives during the pandemic), this past year has been so difficult. I'm tired of everybody and everything.

I was unrealistically hopeful that 2021 would bring better days. Logically I knew that the symbolic changing of a calendar would change nothing in our pandemic situation, but I guess my heart was still hopeful. We are winding up the first month of the year and here I am, still at home and still struggling to keep everything together and still playing mediator to the bickering.

My leg is still ouchy this morning but it is better than yesterday. I'm hoping that another day will provide continued improvement and healing.  (I am fully aware that my leg pain is directly impacting my mood. Whenever I have trouble walking I become more frustrated and depressed.)

I'm sorry for my downtrodden mood. Hopefully today will be better. (I'm sharing a pic of Timmy's latest creation because, no matter how frustrated I become, his little face always makes me smile.)

Ouchy

Last night, when I finally slipped my leg off as I was slipping into bed, I was hurting.  As the day progressed my body, especially my limb, became increasingly sore and ouchy. Between the impending ice storm and being extremely busy (I logged nearly 10 miles), I was not surprised by my pain.

Unfortunately, a mediocre night's sleep did little to ease my discomfort. This morning it feels like my limb was hit with a baseball bat. The bottom and boney regions are inflamed and angry. I can barely wear my leg and the impact from each step feels like a 2x4 is striking my prosthesis. Sometimes being an amputee really stinks!

Our yard is covered with ice instead of snow, which is a mixed blessing. I don't have the energy or the ability to really play in the snow today, so I'm happy for the reason to stay inside and relatively quiet. Timmy is going to be terribly disappointed because he was looking forward to sledding and snowball fights. 

Hopefully we will get another storm soon, when my leg is feeling better and I'll be able to enjoy it as well. In the meantime, I'm going to try to convince him that it is a perfect day for popcorn and movies on the couch. I really need to allow my leg to rest and heal and the prospect of walking makes me cringe.

Games

 Robby was on Cloud 9 after his classes on Friday. He loved being with his friends and to again in in the throws of his role playing games. I have to admit that I don't fully understand the rules and intricacies of his games. When he starts to tell me about the rolls of the dice and the various "stealth" ratings, I find myself zoning out. But I do know that he loves it, so as long as he understands its a good thing.

This past weekend was cold but uneventful in terms of weather. We were hoping for snow, but it seems that we are again going to be missed. So, instead of playing in the snow Timmy and I were playing in the woods and on his obstacle course. My goodness I wish I had his energy.

Both boys successfully completed their semester courses. This week we start semester two of kindergarten and 9th grade. I wish that we had time for a break between semesters, but it didn't work out this year. Hopefully the courses will ease back into academics so that nobody (especially me) ends up feeling frazzled and overwhelmed.