A Good Night Sleep

Day two of battling ear infections is history. Although I struggled to get through the day, the house was intact (sort of) by the time Scott came home from work so I consider myself a success.  Yes, I set the bar pathetically low when I'm ill.

I wasn't feeling better yesterday, but this morning I'm feeling more normal than sick. My ears continue to be omnipresent, but the nagging pain has morphed into a stuffy sensation. I'll take stuffy over sharp pain anytime!  I am surprised with how ear infections took a toll on my entire body. I had somehow forgotten how sick I used to feel when I had my childhood ear infections. Of course, I was considerably younger and no undoubtedly rebounded quicker. 

I slept well (thank you Nyquil) and I'm hoping for a better day. I know that Timmy will be full of energy and ready to go as soon as the sun rises. Yesterday I managed to keep him relatively calm, but there is no chance of that happening again today. Ready or not Friday, here I come!

Ear Infections

When I was younger I was prone to ear infections. I remember laying my head on a hot water bottle, ear drops topped off with cotton balls and having to choke down (unflavored) pink medicine several times a year. By late elementary school my constant ear infections began to wane, and by middle school I was no longer having ear issues.  

Yesterday my no ear infection streak came to a crashing end. I woke up with pain in both ears and my childhood memories came flooding back. It had been over 30 years, but I instantly knew that my ears were infected.  

I tried to wait until Scott came home from work before going to the doctor, but by lunchtime I was miserable. I packed up Timmy and we headed to the walk-in medical clinic. My self-diagnosis was correct and the doctor prescribed antibiotics and ear drops to treat my ear infections.  

This morning I am still in pain and feeling miserable. Unlike when I was younger, staying in bed and laying on a hot water bottle throughout the day is no longer an option. Timmy is ready to play, and he isn't old enough to understand that Momom needs a medical time-out.  Hopefully the ear drops and antibiotics will start to work quickly, otherwise it is going to be another long day.

Forgiving

I have stayed true to my vow to exercise each morning before taking Robby to school. I don't love sweating, nor do I particularly enjoy mornings. The fact that both have merged in my life is an unexpected irony. I have discovered that my early morning "lounging" time is the easiest to swap out in my schedule and, while I don't eagerly put down my coffee to start working out, I do feel accomplished when I am done.  

In the month of September I have lost 11 pounds. I still have a long way to go but I'm trying to remain upbeat. At least I'm not as heavy as I was on Labor Day! I realize that 11 pounds is not an impressive feat, but I am feeling better and healthier already. My leg is fitting more comfortably, and I've noticed that my limb isn't nearly as sore at the end of the day. (It never ceases to amaze me how weight fluctuations have such an impact on my prosthetic comfort.) 

It turns out that working out and watching what I'm eating is not the most difficult part of this venture. Instead, I find myself struggling with feelings in inadequacy and self- hate. I am disgusted that I have allowed myself to gain so much weight. How did the pounds pile on without my knowing? Ugh. Every time I think about it I want to bang my head into a wall or hide my face in shame.  

Pre-occupied with caring for Timmy and worried about his health issues, I've allowed my self-care to be neglected. While I know the reasons behind the pounds, the fact that I am again in this situation frustrates me to no end.  Forgiving myself has turned out to be the most difficult obstacle on my healthy journey, but I am not going to allow myself to be deterred from my goal.

Cartoon Respite

My heart continues to hurt as more details of the tragedy in Las Vegas begin to emerge. In times like this I find myself oddly addicted to the news, almost as if walking away or simply turning it off is akin to being disrespectful to those whom are hurting. Logically I know that this makes no sense. I am better off emotionally when I tune out the endless stream of reports. Of course, I continue to have trouble walking away even though I know that it is the healthier option for me. I need to be reminded that sometimes ignorance is bliss!  

Thankfully I have Timmy to help me unplug from the news. He prefers to watch Disney Jr. in the morning and I was happy to tune out the tragedy for awhile. I found that watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse left me feeling better than Good Morning America, so I decided to follow his lead for the rest of the day. When we weren't watching cartoons we were playing with trains or outside. Spending a relaxing day with my mischievous little buddy was exactly what I needed yesterday. 
 
Timmy was delighted to be my distraction for the day and relished the attention. We played with his trains throughout the living room and around the yard. We tossed balls and jumped on the trampoline.  We played pirate in the playhouse and took turns sliding down the chute. He loved every single moment, and I found myself living in the moment and forgetting what was unfolding in Las Vegas. It wasn't until he went to bed and I turned off the cartoons that I was brought back to reality.
 
It turns out that reality stinks! I much prefer spending the day playing, laughing and exploring with Timmy to watching current events. I think I'll continue to avoid the news for the foreseeable future. I don't think my heart can handle anything but cartoons right now.

Tragedy Again

My Mom and I took Timmy to the mall over the weekend and comedy quickly ensued. I had planned to write about our shopping misadventure, but the news this morning makes writing that blog feel trivial. Another mass shooting happened over night, this time the deadliest in the history of our country. 

Like everybody else this morning, I am struggling to come to terms with the horror and carnage. Such a senseless acts of violence has left me with tears instead of words. I am going to be hugging my kids tighter, and longer, for the foreseeable future.  

When tragedy strikes, we try to find a way for Robby to feel as if he has some sort of control. I think we are going to resume our kindness challenge. We both feel better when we are doing random acts of kindness for others. We can't control what happened in Las Vegas, but we can do our best to improve some lives in our area.