My friend Tammy and I have been talking about doing something amazing for our 40th birthdays. I suggested zip lining, bungee jumping, or even participating in a sprint triathlon. Tammy vetoed all of my ideas and countered with going to a winery, spending the weekend in Time Square or getting a make-over. Obviously we have different definitions of "amazing." Undeterred, we vowed to come up with an adventure that we could both approve.
In the meantime, my plans for the next few years have drastically changed. Although the impending change will dramatically impact everybody in my family and despite being terrified, I have never been happier. Of course, giving the current situation my plans for my 40th birthday will have to be adjusted. According to my doctors I will be in the hospital on my birthday giving birth to our second child.
I am ecstatic to be expecting another child, but I also have to admit that the prospect has me terrified. I'm considerably older now, and there are more risks. I also know that I will probably be the oldest Mom on the playground. Despite these fears and the potential obstacles, I am elated.
We haven't yet told Robby that he is going to be a big brother. I know that he will be a wonderful role model, but I also realize that this is going to be a considerable adjustment for him. Scott and I have decided to delay telling Robby until we are certain that everything is okay with the pregnancy.
People have warned me to keep my pregnancy secret in case something goes wrong. While I understand that perspective, I also know from experience that support is paramount when a "worst case scenario" occurs. Remaining silent does not lessen the loss, and in many ways isolation compounds grief. Besides, I've never been very good at secrets! I'm hoping and preparing for the best while trying to remain cautiously optimistic.
I am looking forward to sharing this new journey through this blog.