Tainted Lens

I had the honor of co-hosting the Women's Round Table discussion at the Amputee Coalition National Conference. I consider the session to be one of my favorite conference moments. While I loved reuniting with friends, the discussion that transpired behind those closed doors was simply powerful. 

We talked about a myriad of topics, ranging from socket fit to dating to sex. I was in awe both of the honesty and the strength of all of the women in the room. Opening up to strangers is difficult, and I was concerned about creating an environment conducive to sharing. It turns out that my worrying was unnecessary because, although there were nearly 100 women in the room, the discussion felt intimate and safe.

I learned one extremely powerful lesson during the session: young and old, skinny or overweight, it really doesn't matter. The majority of women have issues with body image. Hearing everybody confess to the same concerns and worries was empowering.

As women, we spend an inordinate amount of time self-loathing and working to conceal or fix perceived flaws. We don't see the flaws in our friends and in other women, yet we are highly critical of ourselves. In a way, knowing that I'm not alone has been both uplifting and sad at the same time.

I wish that I could view myself through my children's lens.  Robby and Timmy don't care if my thighs are flabby or if my tummy is soft.  They are just happy that I'm in the pool playing with them.  They don't care if my hair is greying or if my boobs are starting to sag.  They think I'm perfect and love me unconditionally.  Perhaps it is time I start offering myself the same courtesy!

Vacation

Robby is three days into summer vacation and, so far, it has been a rousing success.  He has thoroughly enjoyed sleeping in without my "annoying wake up songs" to get him up and moving for school. After he leisurely meanders out of bed we make breakfast and solidify our plans for the day. He certainly has a fantastic little life!

Tuesday we went to the farm in the afternoon and the pool in the evening. Both Timmy and Robby had a blast feeding the animals and playing on the structures. The farm has definitely become one of my happy places. All of my stress and anxieties seem to evaporate while I'm watching my boys play and giggle. 

Yesterday Robby opted to play video games until his friend Jack was ready to play. The pair were riding bikes, playing in our sprinkler and running through the woods and into the stream until dark. When Robby finally came home he was filthy, famished and tired from playing all day. 

Today is Scott's last day of work and will join Robby on vacation starting tomorrow. I know that he is looking forward to turning off his alarm clock for awhile and relaxing. Timmy is going to be delighted having everybody home all day. Hopefully I will survive the 73 days of having everybody home. (Not that I'm counting down to the next school year.) 

#KidKindness

The events over the weekend have been difficult to comprehend. I keep wracking my brain, trying to make sense of something completely nonsensical.  My heart breaks for everybody impacted, and I am saddened that we live in a society where such assaults are becoming commonplace.

I've tried to shield Robby from the constant news coverage but my efforts were in vain. He is ten, and far more aware of current events than I would prefer. He has been confused and scared since learning of the shooting. Yesterday morning I decided it was time to bring up the events in conversation to gauge his reaction.

It turns out that Robby was completely oblivious to the fact that the nightclub was targeted because of the sexual orientation of their patrons. Instead, he assumed that the shooter simply didn't like techno dance music and snapped. (I just love his blissful innocence about the bigotry pervasive in our society!) When I explained that the shooter chose the club not because of the music but because of the dancers, Robby spiraled into a completely different realm of confusion and anxiety.

I am proud that Robby is completely non-reactive about people's sexual identities, race or disabilities. People are people, and everybody deserves to be respected. He doesn't view differences as a negative. I wish that everybody else had his solid perspective on acceptance. 

Still trying to understand the hatred, Robby devised a plan. Over the summer, he wants to counter the negativity with positive actions. Without any prompts or suggestions, he asked me if I would help him spread joy. He is hoping a small spark of kindness might help to extinguish some of hate.

Every day this summer he is pledging to do something good. The acts won't cost money but will involve both time and effort. (He also came up with the rules for his venture.) He is resurrecting his blog (www.robbylikesyellow.blogspot.com) and will be using the #Kidkindness on my Twitter and FB accounts to relay his good deed for the day.

I know that he would love it if others would join forces with him to create a movement of joy. Please consider doing a good deed and posting about it with the #KidKindness tag.  

 

I guess now we are embarking on the Summer of Friendship, Fun and Kindness!

Doctor Issues- A Podcast

Several weeks ago, Dave and I recorded a podcast. I promised to have the files processed and uploaded shortly. Unfortunately, life happened and I wasn't able to fulfill my commitment until last night. (Sorry for the delay Dave!)

We dedicated this episode of our podcast to preparing for doctor's appointments. I was frustrated by my recent experience, especially since I am well versed in what needs to be documented in my records, because my doctor failed to produce adequate medical records for my prosthesis. I was forced to visit yet another physician, with Timmy in tow, simply to receive documentation that I am a below knee amputee.

Dave and I discussed the systemic problem, and brainstormed some possible solutions.  Enjoy!


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Summer of Friendship and Fun

Saturday evening I arrived home, just in time to see Timmy before he went to bed. He was excited to see me but I think that his fatigue impacted his enthusiasm. It wasn't until Sunday morning, when I popped my head in his room to spring him from his crib, that I received the reaction I had been anticipating.

He squealed and began to clap when he saw me enter. I was smothered with Timmy kisses and hugged spontaneously throughout the morning. Out of fear that I would disappear again, he also kept me within sight during every waking moment.

Yesterday we spent the afternoon at the pool. I had a great time with my amputee friends, but it was comforting to be back with my family. Scott played with Robby in the deep end while I entertained Hamlet in the baby pool. He is quite a little water bug!

Today is Robby's last day of fourth grade.  How did that happen? It feels like just yesterday I was splashing with him in the baby pool, and now he is ten years old and entering fifth grade. I am so proud of the young man that is emerging!

Because Jack is moving in July, we are actively working towards expanding Robby's friendship circle in the coming weeks. I can't erase the pain he will feel, but hopefully we can soften the blow a tad. I am looking forward to the official summer of "Friendship and Fun."

Let the summertime adventures begin!