Comfort

Happy Friday!  

Even though it was a short week, I'm grateful for the upcoming weekend. Our little weekend getaway has thrown the house into disarray. I need a few dedicated days, without school work and appointments, to get caught up on the laundry and the cleaning.  

My leg is feeling better, so I no longer have an excuse for not cleaning. (Other than the fact that I despise cleaning, but that is more a fault than an excuse.) Lately, my leg has been fitting perfectly, and I have noticed a huge change in both my mood and my motivation to get things done. I'm am amazed by how empowering I feel when I lack pain. 

During spells when my leg doesn't fit correctly, or when I'm struggling with skin issues, that it is possible to use a prosthesis without pain. I think I become so worn down by the discomfort and the little discomforts that I begin to accept prosthetic issues as my reality. The past week has reminded me of what it is like to feel completely comfortable, and I really hope that this trend continues. Everybody is happier when my leg is comfortable.

Today will be spent driving Robby to and from his classes, and taking Hamlet to his doctors appointments. I'm nervous about what the doctors will say about Timmy, but I'm sure it can't be worse than everything that I am conjuring. Fingers are crossed for a good report! 

Decorating

With summer over and Labor Day behind us, Timmy has decided that it is the appropriate time to start decorating for Halloween. This year, my little Hamlet is quite excited about all things Halloween. We have been listening to "spooky" songs and Nightmare Before Christmas has temporarily bumped both the Grinch and the Polar Express from their top viewing spots.

Our windows (and a good portion of our floors) are now covered with glittered pumpkin, ghost and bat cut-outs. I love Timmy's enthusiasm and the pure joy that he exudes for simple decorations. His affinity for glitter shows through the little metalic specs that are now thoroughly embedded in my footshell and sock.  I'm pretty sure that we will all be covered with a thin layer of glitter until after Easter.

I have been feeling more anxiety lately, but I can tell that the mood is lifting. It is certainly difficult to feel overwhelmed and sad when he is skipping and merrily singing "This is Halloween." Bring on the holidays, we'll be well-decorated and festive for everything on our calendar!

Scheduling

Yesterday was back to school, and back to reality. This is our first week with the extracurricular activities and, while it is a shortened week, it's going to be busy. I love that Robby has so many unique interests, but trying to manage his schedule takes a lot of careful planning.  In a few weeks we will ease into the new routines, but until I get the timing down it will be stressful.  Thankfully Timmy is a great little traveler who is happy to play just about anywhere. 

In between driving Robby to guitar and the gym, Timmy and I are going to try to tour another Pre-K program. Because of his autoimmune issues, it is imperative that we find a setting where he will not only thrive academically and socially, but where he will be medically safe. I know we will find the perfect place for him and I will feel considerably less anxious when we do.  

Because of Back-to-School Night, Scott won't be home until nearly 9. It will be an extremely long day for him, and I know that he will be dragging for the next few days as a result. I remember dreading Back-to-School week when I was a teacher, so I try to keep family demands to a minimum for him. It's a long day for Scott, but it will also be a long day for me.

Stuck In A Pool

Virginia law dictates that, should schools start before Labor Day, the Friday and the Monday must be provided for vacation.  Given a four day weekend, Scott and I decided to squeeze one final adventure into our summer. When I found out that Night Ranger was playing at the Maryland State Fair, our plans were made. Friday afternoon we packed up the family and headed north.

Scott and Robby had plans to see Night Ranger in the evening, so we decided to spend the afternoon playing and swimming in the hotel pool. We all had a great time splashing around and swimming. Despite being a holiday weekend, the pool was empty so we had free reign. After a few hours, we realized that it was time to get out so that the boys could get to the concert on time.  

Because of my wonky leg and socket issues, I don't have a swim leg at the current time. Although my regular prosthesis is waterproof, I wasn't keen on wearing a wet leg and liner for the rest of the day. Instead I opted to remove my prosthesis and liner before sliding into the pool. I thought it was a great idea, until I realized that I had failed to plan for how I was going to get out of the pool.

The ladder was missing a rung, which meant that I couldn't put my knee up to get leverage. The walls were too high to lift myself to the edge. I quickly became embarrassed and frustrated as I realized my predicament. I was stuck in the pool!

After much debate, I agreed to use the pool lift. Scott went to get it lowered into the pool only to discover an "out of order" sign. At this point, my frustration was turning into ire. I hated that I couldn't get out of the pool by myself, and I despise feeling helpless and vulnerable.  

I ended up contorting into some unflattering poses, especially for somebody in a swimsuit, but I managed to pull myself to the side of the pool. Robby laid down towels so that I could crawl to the chair to don my liner and leg. I felt humiliated crawling on the floor and I was grateful that only my family stood as witnesses. 

I am going to make sure I bring a spare leg from now on, because I never want to have to crawl across a pool patio again!

Labor Day

I've never masked my hatred for Labor Day. Although I respect and appreciate the roots of the designation, the practical celebrations have always dampened the holiday. Even as a child, I found celebrating the end of summer by family barbecues, back to school sales and somber final trips to the pool to nonsensical and depressing.  

Even though the boys have been in school for two weeks, tomorrow marks the symbolic start to the chaotic schedule. After school and enrichment classes begin, creating a congested and carefully crafted calendar. While I don't mind going into chauffeur mode, I do resent the end of our lazy summer days.  

Happy Labor Day (even if I refuse to celebrate).

My Friend

Losing a friend is never easy, but I think the death feels more tragic when it is sudden and unexpected. A few days ago I received the news that my former co-worker and friend Bill died suddenly. (Not to be confused with Mr. Bill, who is currently in Florida evaluating retirement communities.)  Bill and I worked closely together for years, and through the meetings and work emails we forged a strong friendship. Unlike many work friendships which fizzle when the co-worker status ends, our connection remained strong.

Bill was a talented editor and fierce advocate for the limb loss community. He spent decades carefully crafting articles and providing information that was pertinent for those living with amputations. His contributions to the limb loss/ limb difference community are too many to list, and he has left a professional void that will be felt for years to come.

I am thankful to count Bill as a friend. He supported me when I left the Coalition, and we continued to share information and resources. Because Bill had the same hearing loss as Robby, I was able to understand some of my son's struggles and obstacles. Having an adult perspective on the hearing loss, hearing him relay his feelings and frustrations as a child, was invaluable. Because of Bill, I came to understand struggles that Robby was not able to articulate.

Bill was kind, caring and kind. He possessed the sharpest wit I have ever known. I will miss our banter, and our friendship.