I am delighted to report that I experienced no phantom pain issues and that I slept soundly. After a solid night sleep, I feel like a new woman! Phantom pain always leaves me in a miserable condition. Again, I find myself so grateful that I do not suffer with the frequency as so many of my friends. I cannot imaging my life if phantom pain was omnipresent.
This morning the sun is shining against a bright blue sky. It is going to be a chilly but fantastic day to play outside. Our new ping-pong table is set up and I have already been challenged to a rematch. (I beat Scott last night two sets to one.)
If you are looking for a brief daily distraction from your own isolation, I invite you to listen to the Amp'd podcast. Dave and I have been recording daily (and quick) conversations where we are just discussing our normal life. Nothing heavy, and no politics. We are just talking about our real life experiences being holed up with our respective families. Enjoy, and stay healthy!
The weather became wicked cold and the rain arrived in the afternoon. By the time I was ready for bed, my leg felt like it was on fire. Not only was it being burnt (or at least felt that way), but my phantom toenail was experiencing torture like never before. It felt like my toenail was being twisted and fulled while a sledgehammer was pounding on my ankle.
I tried every trick in my arsenal but nothing alleviated the pain. I spent the night tossing and turning, desperate to find relief and a comfortable position. I finally drifted asleep around 4 but was roused two hours later by a happy and energetic Timmy. Although the reasons are not ideal, this morning I'm grateful that Scott is home from work. As soon as he gets up I'm going to try to take a nap so I can be at least quasi-functional today.
I hate phantom pain!
Yesterday was laid back and uneventful. After a good cry in the morning, I lit a memorial candle for my Dad and proceeded with my day. I would be lying if I didn't acknowledge the twinges of guilt that crept up unexpectedly, but the twangs were brief and I was quickly able to regain perspective and keep moving. I learned the best way for me to process grief, regardless of the length of time that has passed since the loss, is to feel it for a few minutes before putting it back into a box in the recesses of my heart.
The weather was nice during the afternoon, allowing us to play outside for a few hours. Robby helped me assemble the new outdoor ping pong table while Timmy and Scott moved wood. In retrospect, reading the assembly directions would have cut our time by 90%, but since we had nothing else to do we wanted to see if we could figure it out. We did, but it wasn't easy!
Today is raining, which means no ping pong. I think it will be a Netflix and crafting day. As always, please stay away from others and follow the calls for social distancing. We are all in this together, and everybody needs to follow the rules in order to keep our population safe!
As I woke up this morning memories came flooding back to me. Although it has been five years since my Dad died, my grief that I felt today was so strong that it nearly knocked me off my feet. It makes my heart heavy to acknowledge that it has been five years since I have talked to my Dad. To say "I miss him" feels inadequate, yet I don't know another sentiment that is more true.
The past year has been difficult. With my suddenly navigating the waters of the unemployed after being laid-off, I found myself missing the professional guidance he freely offered. He was my professional sounding board, and in his absence I was forced to rely upon my own gut and my memories of previous conversations.
I am (finally) again employed, yet I missed calling my Dad to share the news. He has missed every one of Timmy's milestones. It saddens me to know that Timmy will never know his Candy Papaw, and that instead he will rely upon second-hand memories from his brother and cousins.
My Dad would have been thrilled with Robby's learning the guitar. I know that he would have relished every opportunity to listen to him play. Oh how I wish they could have played together!
It has only been five years, but it feels like a lifetime. I miss him.
I truly don't understand why anybody would refuse to follow the overwhelming evidence supporting the need to physically isolate. Seriously, I just don't understand! I've tried to reason through the different scenarios but I just can't come up with a viable excuse for these behaviors.
I have been
frustrated to the point of tears by the complete disregard demonstrated
by those who are not following the pleas for social distancing. As Scott
and I have holed up at home, careful to keep a physical distance from
absolutely everybody, too many people continue to gallivant around as if
they don't have a care in the world. Disregarding the needs of society
by refusing to tailor your social interactions is selfish and
self-centered.
In all fairness, I am probably more tuned in to social distancing. Because of Timmy's autoimmune disorder, Scott and I have been actively sheltering our little guy from viruses for several years. This is my third winter with limited physical interactions, so perhaps I am more of a pro at staying home than most.
Scott and I have done everything possible to stay healthy and safe. Over the past few months we have stocked our pantry and our cleaning supplies. Although inconvenient and sometimes boring, we have no intention of venturing beyond our little bubble.
Please stay safe, and stay away from physical contact as much as possible. Unfortunately, we are at a point where everybody has to be inconvenienced to protect the health of everybody. While you may be strong enough to fight off the virus, we aren't certain that Timmy will be as fortunate.
