Five years

As I woke up this morning memories came flooding back to me. Although it has been five years since my Dad died, my grief that I felt today was so strong that it nearly knocked me off my feet. It makes my heart heavy to acknowledge that it has been five years since I have talked to my Dad. To say "I miss him" feels inadequate, yet I don't know another sentiment that is more true. 

The past year has been difficult. With my suddenly navigating the waters of the unemployed after being laid-off, I found myself missing the professional guidance he freely offered. He was my professional sounding board, and in his absence I was forced to rely upon my own gut and my memories of previous conversations.  

I am (finally) again employed, yet I missed calling my Dad to share the news. He has missed every one of Timmy's milestones. It saddens me to know that Timmy will never know his Candy Papaw, and that instead he will rely upon second-hand memories from his brother and cousins.

My Dad would have been thrilled with Robby's learning the guitar. I know that he would have relished every opportunity to listen to him play. Oh how I wish they could have played together! 

It has only been five years, but it feels like a lifetime.  I miss him.