Friday afternoon I logged into a scheduled meeting with my boss. I have been working at the organization for four years and was feeling confident. My performance and my numbers are solid, my feedback has been extremely positive and I know that my efforts have significantly been helping people. Things have been going so well in fact that I thought the meeting might be to broach the idea of transitioning from contractual to full-time employee.
Imagine my shock when, after exchanging pleasantries for 10 minutes, the tone immediately shifted. The love the program and the community that I have built. Unfortunately, due to the current transitions within the company, they don't feel like they have the resources necessary to grow. Therefore, they have decided to shelf the program.
My dream job would come to an end at the conclusion of 2024.
I am not quite certain what happened during the rest of the meeting because I was in shock. I spent the weekend reeling, trying to make heads of tails out of what has just become of my life. In an instant, everything has changed. Again.
2024 is the year that broke me. I know I will regroup and we will move forward. But right now, I feel gutted and defeated. I feel like the universe is working overtime to demonstrate that it truly doesn't care.
