Boston!

Dropping Robby off at school yesterday morning, knowing that I wouldn't be home to hear about his day, was difficult. He shed his normal tears about going to school, and my heart was breaking because I didn't want to leave. Knowing that I'll only be gone for a few days, and that the time will no doubt fly by for him, did little to ease my mommy angst.

After I dried my eyes, I wrote a series of little notes and hid them, along with small surprises, around the house. Hopefully he will have fun with his scavenger hunt and it will make my time away easier for him. Besides helping Robby, hiding the surprises made me feel better about leaving.

My travels to Boston were uneventful, which at this point equates to a good thing! I was able to breeze through security without anymore than a mild a grope, and arrived at my gate in time to get my favorite airport treat- an Auntie Anne pretzel. By the time I arrived in my hotel room, I was in full professional mode.

Last night I attended the conference opening, where I was able to get a peek at the booth which will be my home away from home for the next three days. I am hoping to be able to leave the hotel at some point to experience Boston, although if previous conferences are any indication, seeing the sites is doubtful. By the time the booth closes for the evening, I am left so exhausted that all I want to do is call for room services, take off my leg and crawl into bed!

Time alone, without anybody needing or wanting my attention, is a rare luxury. Although I miss Robby, I am taking full advantage of the quiet. Between entertaining both boys all summer, working and taking care of my Mom, I am fully basking in the solitude of my hotel room.

Boston Bound

This morning, after driving Robby to school and probably pulling his tear stained little face away from my side (again), I'll come home and pack my suitcase. I will drive to the airport and catch a flight to Boston. For the next few days I'll be working at the AOPA conference, talking with Prosthetists and exploring new technology.

I have traditionally loved working at conferences. The venue affords me the opportunity to stretch my professional wings and surround myself with adult conversation. Unfortunately, this year's conference comes during Robby's first week of school. For the first time since I started working as a model for Ossur, I really do not want to go on this trip!

Robby has had a difficult time adjusting to school. Each morning he has been sobbing, pleading for me to allow him to stay home. It has been breaking my heart pulling him away from my side and handing him off to his teacher. Knowing that I am only a phone call away, and that I will come in to volunteer at a moment's notice, has been my ace in the hole. Robby has taken solace in the fact that I remain accessible, even if I am not physically in the room. I worry about how he will deal with the transition in my absence.

I feel like I am somehow shirking my mom duties by going to Boston. I am torn because I want to stay home for him, but I also want to continue to grow professionally. I suppose that this internal struggle has been fought for as long as mom's have been in the workforce. No matter what choice is made, I will always have doubt.

I am grateful that Mr. Bill has volunteered to help with chauffeur duties for the remainder of the week. He'll be picking Robby up, and taking him to school on Friday. I'll be curious to hear if Robby cries when he is dropped off on Friday, or if Mr. Bill caves and brings him home!

Physically I will be in Boston, but my heart will remain with my little guy a he struggles to adjust to school. I will feel better Friday afternoon, when he is home and with his Daddy for the weekend. I can't wait to hear all about his adventures when I get home. In the meantime, I'm going to try to leave my mommy anxieties in Virginia and enjoy my time in Boston.

Robots

Getting ready for the first day of school was a hectic endeavor, despite my attempts at organizing and preparing. Robby didn't care what he was going to wear, but he did insist on sporting his cowboy boots. I tried to talk him into sneakers, but he insisted that he was a "boot man." I finally acquiesced and decided to let him express his own style.
  Robby happily sang as I drove him to school. I knew he was slightly nervous when we walked into his classroom because he tightly gripped my hand. After taking pictures and getting him settled, I gave him a hug and promised to pick him up when school was over.

He ran after me, threw his little arms around my waist and buried his face in my stomach. He began to sob, begging me to stay. He pleaded that he was scared, and that he didn't want to stay. I knelt down and talked with him, promising to pick him up when he was done for the day. I knew that my reasoning with him was fruitless. Finally his teacher took him by the hand and led my little red cheeked boy to the carpet for circle time.

I cried the entire way home. I drove straight to Mr. Bill's house, where he was waiting with a bag of chocolate and a hot mug of coffee. We sat on his swing and I wept for an hour. It was hard seeing him so frightened, and although I realize it was a childhood rite of passage, it broke my heart leaving him.

A few hours later I phoned the school to check on Robby. His teacher promised that he stopped crying within minutes of my leaving, and I felt an enormous sense of relief. When I arrived to pick him up at the end of the day, I saw him playing with a classmate through the window.

I was greeted with a huge hug when I arrived. Robby quickly filled me in on everything that he learned. We walked around his class and I admired his locker, desk and cubby. He was particularly excited about working with robots!

Before we left his class, Robby invited two little classmates over to meet me. "This is my Momom. You won't believe this. It's going to blow your freakin' mind. Take a look at this!"  He lifted up my skirt, exposing my leg. "See, I told you that Momom had a robot leg."

I had deliberately concealed my prosthetic because I did not want to garner unnecessary attention. Apparently Robby thought that it was worthy of showcasing, especially since his class was going to be learning about robots. Who knew that my leg would make him the classroom hero on the first day of school!

First Grade-- Ready or Not

This morning I woke up with an inexplicable urge to cuddle Robby. Logic intervened and kept me from digging through the back of my garage to retrieve the pieces of his crib, long ago disassembled. He is at a wonderful age, where he is able to interact with and explore the world. I love spending time with him, but I miss my little baby!

I have decided that Robby is simply growing up too quickly. It feels like I was just carrying him around on my hip. Now I have to remember to bend at my knees when I pick him up or I risk throwing my back out.

Today I'll be sending him to the First grade. I'm delighted that he's excited to be going to school. Once he met with his new teacher, and she explained that they were going to learn how to be scientists, he has been eager to start. I thrilled that he is so excited to learn!

Although I've been careful to not cry in front of him, my private tears are telling me that I'm not ready to let him go! I wish I could keep him home, and keep him little, for another year (or two). I never imagined that it would be so painful letting him grow up.

The house is going to be uncomfortably quiet in a few hours. I know that the void will quickly be filled with work projects and responsibilities, and that I will adjust to a new schedule. After all, the fact that I won't have to get up before dawn and work after both boys have gone to bed will feel like a vacation. Still, I know that I'm going to miss having Robby around the house.

I worry about every aspect of his adjustment, but I also know in my heart that he will thrive.  He is ready for the adventures that await him. I just have to figure out how to let him go.

After I drop Robby off at school, I have been invited to drive straight to Mr. Bill's house. He has promised coffee, cupcakes and chocolate to minimize the empty nest anxieties. I'm hoping that spending the morning with a friend will help.

Please wish us both luck. I hope that the only tears shed this morning are mine.  Check back later for photos of my super big First grader!

Labor Day!

My hatred of Labor Day probably began when I was six years old and I realized that the holiday heralded the start of a new school year. I loved school, but the end of carefree summer days always made me sad. I found it difficult to enjoy a picnic when I knew I would be rushed to bed early in preparation for the first day of school.

After I graduated college and I began my career as a teacher, my resentment towards Labor Day only intensified.  The holiday began to represent the chaotic and stressful time that every teacher experiences as they prepare for the start of another school year.  Between meetings, putting up bulletin boards and trying to make every student feel welcome, the first days of school are nothing more than a marathon in exhaustion and stress!

This year, Labor Day has taken on a whole new meaning in our house. Not only is Scooter returning to work, but Robby is going to be in school for the entire day. I can't believe he is going to be a first grader!

The past few days have been a flurry of activity as we've been preparing Robby for the "big day." We took him to meet his new teacher,  hoping that this experience would buoy his excitement about starting school. Instead, he looked at me as I was buckling him into his booster seat and said, "Momom, there is no way in hell I'm going to that dump school. No way!" That was certainly not the reaction I anticipated.

I tried to talk with him, pointing out all of the attribute of his new school. Quickly I realized that reasoning with a six year old was a fruitless endeavor. Instead I decided to become proactive.

After talking with his teacher and explaining Robby's apprehensions (I left out his opinion of the school), she agreed that he might benefit from another visit. Robby and I visited his class again on Friday morning,this time without his new peers. He was less than thrilled with the prospect of another visit, but quickly agreed when he realized I wasn't going to make him stay.

His teacher spent a lot of time talking with Robby about all of the exciting adventures that they were going to have in the upcoming months. I am so glad that I trusted my inner "mommy voice." Robby left the school skipping with a smile on his face. He insisted that we call his Daddy because his new school and class were "totally awesome."   He is particularly enthusiastic about participating in the various science experiments!

He is excited to start on Tuesday, which is making today a little easier. I am hoping for a good day, but I have no illusions of having a carefree and fun filled afternoon. After all, tomorrow marks the first day of school for both Scooter and Robby. I have a lot to do to get them both ready for the big day!

Happy Labor Day!