School Days

 I find it unfathomable that I have a rising freshman and kindergarten students. It feels like just last year I was hiding in the bushes, peeking into the windows of Robby's classroom to make sure that he was okay. Now he is preparing for high school! 

I think about the fact that Robby is entering high school and my anxiety goes into overdrive.  Academically, he is ready. But emotionally, I am not. I know that the next four years will move quickly and the thought of him leaving for college fills me with grief and angst. He is just an awesome young man, but sometimes I miss my sweet little kid Koopa.  

As Robby embarks on his high school career, Timmy is just starting his. Kindergarten starts on Monday and he is very excited. His books arrived yesterday and he opened the box with the enthusiasm of Christmas morning.  I hope that he is always so excited to learn!

Because of his autoimmune issues and the schools opting for virtual learning only, we have decided to enroll him in the same cyber school as Robby. It just made sense to be working off the same platform for both kids. Eventually he will go to a more traditional setting, but this is not a normal year. 

Today we are headed to Pennsylvania to enjoy one last hurrah before the academic year begins. I know that Robby is eager to hang out with his cousins, and Timmy misses his Nana. When we return on Sunday, we will be in the school year mind frame.

Bad Leg Day

Yesterday felt like a struggle from the moment I woke up. For some reason my leg was not comfortable. I tried readjusting numerous times but my efforts failed to improve the fit. After a few hours I finally just surrendered to the discomfort for the day, tallied it up as "one of those things" and took some ibuprofen. 

I was functional and able to walk, but my steps were labored and unnatural. Walking was exhausting, zapping me of energy and discouraging me from my daily activities. I was frustrated that I wasn't comfortable and that I could not pinpoint the reason. I hate bad leg days!

Little makes me feel more handicapped than not being able to play and keep up with the boys. Timmy desperately wanted to play outside, but I knew that I wasn't going to be able to keep up with him. After a lot of begging and pleading I finally agreed to try to ride my bike. He understood that our ride may be shortened because of my pain, but I wanted to give it a try.

I was delighted, and surprised, to discover that my prosthetic issues were not nearly as relevant when I was pedaling. Once I realized that I could ride without pain we took off through the neighborhood, exploring and talking to every dog and person we encountered. 

My leg is fitting better this morning, so apparently my diagnosis of "one of those things" was accurate. I feel normal again and, although I'm cautious, I don't anticipate any more issues. Here's to a good leg day!

Fish On

We have a few days until the new virtual school year begins. Instead of fretting and worrying I decided to put my anxiety to the side and concentrate on having fun with the boys. If the next few weeks are as hectic as I fear, I want to have as much fun as possible while I still can!

Early afternoon I put my computer down and Scott and I found the fishing poles and tackle. I pulled some hotdogs out of the freezer, told the boys to get their shoes on and directed them to meet us in the car. Both complained until they saw Scott walking out the door with the fishing poles. It was amazing how quickly both Robby and Timmy can move when they are motivated.

Timmy was the only one to catch a fish. He was delighted and squealed as he reeled in his catch. I let him do it by himself but stood close in case he needed help. It turns out that his fish was about the size of a goldfish so it didn't put up much of a struggle. Actually, I'm not sure how such a tiny little fish could get hooked. 

Robby didn't catch any fish, but he did snag a snapping turtle. Thankfully the hook did not set and we were able to save our pole and line. He spent the rest of the afternoon watching and feeding his new snapping turtle buddy. (It turns out that a snapping turtle can eat a hotdog in one gulp.)

We had a great time fishing at our little local lake. The dock was secluded, which eliminated my Covid fears as well as our need to mask up. It was great just being outside, doing something together away from our yard. 

Scared

 I'm trying to remain calm about the upcoming school year, but in reality I'm in a full blown panic. I'm so worried about managing my work responsibilities and virtual schooling tasks on a daily basis. I look at the totality of responsibilities and I just feel completely lost and overwhelmed. I'm know that we will, eventually, settle into a routine and that I will make it all work. At least, that is my hope!

I've spent the past week getting ready for the new school year. Timmy's learning corner has been prepared. His supplies have been purchased and we are just waiting for his books to arrive. All 32 pounds of them! Yikes. (I have to admit when I read the weight on the shipping confirmation, my anxiety was set into a tailspin.)

I'm mainly worried about supporting Timmy's academic endeavors because I know that kindergarten will require a huge time investment from me. Although Robby's academics are considerably harder, I have confidence that he can navigate much of his syllabus by himself. That isn't to say that I won't be involved, but I certainly won't need to be as task-oriented and hands-on as I will be with Timmy.  

I wish I could be excited about the upcoming school year. I want to view it as an adventure and something that will be both engaging and fun. Unfortunately, I'm just plain terrified.

Busy Weekend

 My goodness, what a busy weekend. My plans of relaxing and unwinding somehow imploded and I ended moving and working nonstop. I was extremely productive which definitely helped to offset my exhaustion. 

 Saturday morning Scott and I went to a local farmer's market and ended up coming home with 50 pounds of tomatoes and 25 pounds of green beans. I already had 50 pounds of tomatoes from my Mom's neighbor, bringing the total to a whopping one hundred pounds! Undeterred by the task, I brought my saucer up from the garage and got to work. 

It took me nearly four hours to run all one hundred pounds of tomatoes through the saucer. By the time the last tomato was pushed through the machine I had every electric cooking pot going to reduce and thicken the sauce. The appliances were strategically positioned throughout the house to avoid throwing a fuse, forcing me to move constantly to stir and check on the progress.  

While the sauce was reducing, I sat on the couch and began to snap the beans. I started a movie on Netflix and, by the time I was finally at the bottom of my bean box, the movie had just ended. It was kind of nice to sit and watch a movie, but my hands were tired and cramped from the beans.

Saturday night was spent processing the sauce through my water canner. One hundred pounds of potatoes reduced down to 19 quarts of sauce. While the jars were processing I blanched, shocked and froze the beans. By the time I was ready for bed I was exhausted!

I planned on relaxing all day Sunday, but somehow I ended up rearranging all of the furniture upstairs and cleaning. I packed up all of Timmy's trains because he has outgrown them.  He loved his trains and they served him well, but he is growing up. I was proud of myself for not crying! 

Gone are the large and clumsy plastic toys. I know that packing up the trains is a milestone in his development, but I don't want to think about it because it will make me cry. Instead, I am choosing to utilize my favorite coping mechanism: avoidance.

I had to move a lot of furniture, but with all of the newly reclaimed space I was able to establish a dedicated video-conferencing corner for work. I created a school area for Timmy and arranged Robby's notebooks in a convenient location. I was exhausted but satisfied with my accomplishment.