Art Class

I'm glad that I spent the past two days relaxing by the fire. I thoroughly enjoyed just sitting by the fire, watching Christmas movies with Timmy and not worrying about work. Today I am back to reality, and back on the go.

Timmy has another treatment today, so our morning will be spent at our local Children's Hospital. He handled it like a champion in the past and I expect no complications today. I hate seeing him endure these issues but compared to what "could be," he is incredibly fortunate.

As a reward for being such a good boy (my optimism in action), I have signed up Timmy for a one-day art class at Robby's school. This afternoon, after we are done with his infusion, we will drive straight to Robby's school for Timmy's highly anticipated class. My little Hamlet has been talking non-stop about going to art class and I am certain that the activity will trump the discomfort he experienced in the morning.

I hate Timmy's infusion day, but this morning we are instead focusing on the art class. I can't wait to see what my little artist creates!

Mom Guilt

Despite being three weeks since I took my tumble, my ankle is still sore. Although omnipresent, the pain intensity is waning. I am still acutely aware of the injury, but each step is not as tender as it was just a few days ago. I am frustrated that it is taking so long, but I am coming to accept that it takes longer to heal after 40.

Logically, I should not need an excuse to relax and enjoy sedentary activities. I am so used to always moving that I have started to feel guilty for slowing down. I have thoroughly enjoyed just watching Christmas movies by the fire.  My motivation to be constantly in motion has been weakening with each passing afternoon. 

Timmy has been content to play indoor games and hasn't been chomping at the bit for an adventure. He isn't sick, but I don't think he feels fantastic. Perhaps we are all overdue for a break.

In moments when I feel twinges of guilt for not being outside running with Timmy, or for not scrubbing and cleaning the house, I remind myself that taking it easy is helping my ankle heal. I wish that I didn't feel guilty for slowing down and relaxing! Maybe if I do it more often, I won't feel as guilty?

Vacation

All of a sudden it has become wickedly cold. After the unyielding heat of summer and most of the autumn, the strong cold snap is a welcome change. There is something lovely and cathartic about curling up next to a roaring fire all day. All of my obligations and chores remain, but everything seems to feel more relaxed and comforting when I'm sitting next to a warm and crackling fire.

 Robby spent the majority of the day tackling schoolwork. Determined to get ahead in his studies so that he can take Thanksgiving week off, he has double-downed on his efforts. I am so incredibly proud of his diligence when it comes to his studies! 

Timmy was equally calmed by the fire and was content to spend the day playing games and working on his letters. With my sidekick happy and busy playing alone, I could have used the time to tackle some much overdue housework. Instead, I opted to watch a Christmas movie on the Hallmark Channel.  My new job starts in a few weeks, so I am justifying my relaxation by reframing it as a vacation. Things will become hectic in January, so I might as well relax and enjoy the season while I can.

Weekend Frustrations

Scott and I had been planning to spend our three-day weekend outside, tackling the overwhelming number of leaves in our yard. We were both excited when the forecast looked favorable for us to conquer our mission, and we had prepped both boys to spend a great deal of time outside working and helping. While yard work isn't an ideal activity for most kids, both boys seemed amicable to the idea. 

We woke up Saturday morning ready to work. After reviewing our job list over breakfast we bundled up and headed outside. We were moving like a well-oiled machine, with each family member dutifully beginning their assigned chore. We didn't realize that our progress had peaked during those initial moments.

Instead of conquering our leaves, we were dealt with a stream of frustrating disappointments that stalled our progress and derailed our plans.  While the boys started to rake out the flowerbeds, Scott and I began the task of assembling our new electric log splitter. I love my husband dearly and we are compatible in so many ways. Unfortunately, product assembly is not one of them!  After scrapping and arguing over the directions for over an hour, we finally managed to complete the "simple" assemble our new log splitter.

We fired it up and prepared to split some of our firewood. It didn't take long to realize that the splitter was not what we needed for our job. The machine struggled to split even the smallest log. After fumbling and trying for another hour, we agreed that a 5-ton splitter was not strong enough. We disassembled the machine, packed it back into the box and returned it to the store. The entire fiasco ate away at most of our afternoon.

Sunday Scott hopped onto the lawnmower, ready to mulch and bag the leaves that were carpeting our lawn. The mower wouldn't start. We jumped the battery and got it to rev. It was then that we discovered that the steering wheel had no impact on the wheels. Somehow the entire steering mechanism had broken. At that point, we both wanted to cry.

Without the ability to mulch and bag our leaves, we couldn't tackle our leaves. Instead, we decided to assemble and try the 10-ton hydraulic log splitter. Thankfully the machine was easy to assemble, but my goodness it is exhausting to use. In order to split a log, the levers must be manually moved back and forth. It takes a lot of energy to break through a log, even with the benefit of hydraulic assistance.

My arms are sore and tired. I don't have a lot of upper body strength but what I do have I spent yesterday trying to split those logs. After a frustrating weekend of nothing going right, I'm looking forward to the monotony of the week. Hopefully, we won't have any surprises!

Walking Day!!

Happy Walking Day to me!

Sixteen years ago today, I took my first prosthetic steps. The memories of that day are so vivid and fresh that it is hard to fathom that so much time has passed. At the time, I was petrified of everything involving my amputation. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to master a prosthesis and that I would be in pain and immobile for the rest of my life. I was unsure about reasonable expectations, and I crutched into my prosthetist's office that morning on blind faith that I would be okay.

My life today exceeds any of the hopes that I held on that morning sixteen years ago. I have a wonderful family and I'm incredibly active. I've surpassed mastering my prosthesis and I am now at the juncture where it has simply become an extension of my biological body. So many years ago I never imagined that I would feel comfortable, capable and normal with a prosthesis. Yet here I am, living an amazing life as an amputee.

Today is one to be celebrated.  It hasn't always been easy, but I can definitely say that I am living my best life.  Happy Walking Day to Me!