Birthday

 Happy Birthday to me!

This year my birthday enthusiasm is low. I would prefer to simply forget my birthday, but since that won't stop time I suppose I have no choice but to acknowledge it. This is my last year in my 40s and I do not like to be reminded that next year I am going to be 50. But I'm not there yet!

Today's birthday plans include working, overseeing schoolwork and chauffeuring the boys to class. I suppose my mundane itinerary reflects my feelings about turning 49. I simply don't care.

This weekend Robby has his band performance. Hopefully the weather holds out because they are playing at our local park. It will be a great afternoon if the weather holds out. Fingers crossed! They all worked too hard to be washed out by weather.  

Have a great weekend.

Clown foot

 Although she continues to struggle with pain and mobility, my Mom is progressing. After weeks of upheaval and angst I feel like my life is returning to normal. Of course, school ends in two weeks and then the summer stresses arrive. Alas, I'll let future Peggy worry about that. I'm just going to enjoy the normalcy of today.

The past few months have been stressful and have taken a toll on me. Since my brother's amputation in September and Timmy starting a new school, I feel like I have been living my life in triage. When I am stressed I eat. But when I'm frazzled, I tend to become nauseated. Since September, I have lost 50 pounds without an effort. 

I'm not complaining about the weight loss. There is no doubt that the 'frazzled diet' is effective, but I don't think it is an accomplishment worthy of celebration. I find the inability to enjoy food extraordinarily frustrating. I am not at the point of writing myself notes as a reminder to eat meals. Now that is a sentence I never thought I'd have to write!

Weight loss as an amputee introduces a host of issues. Primarily is socket fit. I am now suffering from what Robby has dubbed "clown foot syndrome" because my socket is too big and it now farts and flops around when I walk. I'm back to playing the padding game, trying to maintain suction without pressing against nerves and causing pain. 

Sigh. I'm going to have to start the process for a new leg. I hate the prosthetic process, but I dislike being uncomfortable more. 

Mother's Day

 I had a wonderful Mother's Day weekend. This year the boys went all out, showering me with love throughout the weekend and reminding me that I am appreciated and valued. After a chaotic few weeks, it was a wonderful few days of relaxing and unwinding. I am waking up this morning happy, energized and ready to tackle the week.

After spending two weeks in Pennsylvania for my Mom's surgery, I didn't make it up to visit her for Mother's Day this year. She is still in considerable pain and seemed just as happy for the quiet time at home. She is improving but it is not nearly as quick as she had hoped.  Of course, nobody anticipated a total replacement so this recovery has thrown us all off our game.  

Mom has resumed her physical therapy and I am hoping that the movement will help spark more healing. I know that she is anxious to resume her life! I know that she is making incremental progress everyday but, because the improvements are small, the gains are not obvious. I know that she is frustrated and it is difficult to help her because there is little I can actually do except offer support and DoorDash.