Open Houses

Tomorrow our schedule is full with Open Houses for the boys. In the morning we are heading to an Open House at a local Pre-K program. It is hard to believe that Timmy is ready for Pre-k, but I know that he will absolutely love the experience. He is such a social kid and will thrive with the peer interactions and direct instruction.

In preparation for the Pre-K transition, Timmy and I have been spending a lot of time working on handwriting and letters. His little brain is like a sponge right now, eagerly soaking up every bit of information and instruction. Whenever Robby pulls out his laptop to begin his schoolwork Timmy goes running to the kitchen table, waiting for his "class."  

After the Pre-K Open House, we are going to a local music school for Robby. Robby has been asking to learn the guitar, and this unique program provides both direct instruction as well as the opportunity to participate in a rock band with other classmates. I think that the combination of activities is perfect for Robby and I am hopeful that it fits his schedule.

As silly as it may be, I'm feeling anxious about both Open Houses. I know that we are evaluating the programs, and that both schools would be lucky to have the boys as students.  But I can't help but feel nervous about being judged and refused admission.  I think I still feel the sting from the Montessori School on the side of a mountain. Now every time I connect with a new instruction opportunity I feel overwhelming anxiety and edgy.  

Fingers crossed it all goes well and that my worries are unfounded!

Energy

One more day until the heatwave is supposed to break, allowing crisper air to enter our area. I realize that it is only August and still summer, but my mind has been tricked into thinking it should be Fall because of the early start to school. In reality, it is supposed to be hot and my expectations for August weather have been skewed by back-to-school activities. Regardless, I'll be thrilled when the cooler air finally arrives. 

I haven't been to an indoor playground since the incident last Friday, but Timmy is becoming antsy inside so I think a play date is in our future. He is definitely a high-energy kid who loves all things physical.  I wish we had a pool membership, because swimming is always such a great outlet for his energy. Since swimming is off the table for the day, he will have to settle for a climbing playground.  

According to the weather forecast, tomorrow we should be able to play outside again. I'm looking forward to riding bikes through the neighborhood and jumping on our trampoline. Hopefully the predictions are right!

Forgiveness

I have taken the change in our family schedule as the impetus to make drastic improvements in my life. Over the past few months I have neglected to the time to care for myself. Between managing everybody (including the Cousin Crew) and the stress of looking for a new job, I have stopped caring about myself. 

I've gained weight over the summer, leaving me both lethargic and out of shape. I'm tired of getting out of breath when playing with Timmy. I'm frustrated with having a closet full of clothes that no longer fit. My body hurts every morning and I know that many of my aches and pains can be attributed to the extra weight I am toting.  

Things finally came to a tipping point last Sunday, when I couldn't button my fat shorts. I broke down and cried, angry that I had let my self get to this point again. After moping for a few hours I resolved to make some changes. 

The first thing I did was offer myself grace and forgiveness. Releasing the self-blame and destructive inner dialog was not easy but it was imperative for me to move forward.  I began to meditate, to journal and resumed taking long comforting baths at night. Slowly, I have begun to notice a shift in my perspective.

Last week I also started working out again. I didn't start with a dramatic, lengthy exercise routine because I knew that it wouldn't be sustainable. Instead I started completing a 20 minute exercise video every morning. It turns out that Timmy loves "dancing" with me each morning. His enthusiasm has kept me motivated when I begin panting from the routine.

Between the exercises and the changes in my diet (I've halted all snacking), I'm already noticing a difference. I know that the journey will be slow, but I deserve to feel better about myself!

School Days

The school year adventures have begun.  Yesterday Scott embarked on his 26th year in the classroom while Robby begun year eight. Neither were particularly thrilled about the return to the school routine, but pair survived the stress and frustrations associated with the first day.

It is hard to believe that my sweet little Koopa is in eight grade. Robby thrived through his online school program so we opted to continue through this year. I realize his classroom is unconventional, but it works for him. 

After Labor Day his extracurricular classes begin which introduces another level of scheduling into my calendar. Most afternoons will be spent chauffeuring Robby from activities and schools for a variety of programs. His enthusiasm definitely makes spending so much time in the car worth the effort!

We plan to enroll Timmy in a pre-K program, but all decisions are on hold until we meet with his doctors next week. I need to make sure that my little guy is healthy enough for a classroom setting. Until then, he has begun working on his "schoolwork" at the same time as his brother. Fingers crossed he is cleared for pre-K, because I know that he would love every moment!

 

Hide and Seek Sirens

Friday I thought it would be fun to take Timmy to a play area in our local mall. Every time we have visited he has had a fantastic time, and Friday was no exception. As soon as we arrived he ditched his shoes, and his mom, and took off running with new buddies. Every once in awhile he stopped by to say hello and to have a sip of water, but other than that he was happy running and playing with his new playmates.

After we were there for nearly three hours the entire facility went dark. Within a few seconds emergency strobe lights started flashing, accompanied by an announcement telling everybody to shelter in place. My heart jumped as I joined the hoards of other parents frantically searching for their children in the enormous climbing structure.  

It felt like forever before I found Timmy walking out of a trampoline. I immediately scooped him up and began to scan the facility for a clue as to what we were supposed to be doing. I saw parents being turned away from the exits and overheard commands to hide. Not knowing where to go, I directed Timmy to climb up a red tube slide. Let me assure you, a plump one legged woman can still book it up a slide when necessary!

We stayed in the center of the slide for about five minutes, trying to remain as quiet and as still as possible. Timmy was confused as to why we were suddenly playing hide and seek, but I think he sensed the urgency of my directives because he obliged without argument. Finally the warning siren quieted and we were told that it was safe to evacuate.  

It turns out that there was a "domestic incident" at the other end of the mall involving a weapon, and the entire building was put on lock down and shelter in place as a precaution. Not knowing what was going on, my mind was flooding with recollections of mass shootings and worst case scenarios. Timmy and I were escorted into the parking lot by the police and we headed home.

Hiding in the slide with Timmy were some of the most frightening minutes of my life. Timmy was scared and spent most of Friday night reenacting the incident, which I think was his way of trying to process the events.I have a feeling it will be quite a long time before either of us wants to go back to that playground!