Growing Older

After hobbling around most of yesterday and experiencing the painful stinging sensations as I tried to fall asleep, my limb is finally feeling normal this morning. Like after most bouts with phantom pain, I'm left scratching my head as I try to figure out the cause. I struggle to accept that it is just "one of those things" because that sentiment parallels a lack of control. 

For me, not having control over my body is terrifying! Unfortunately, as I am fully entrenched in middle age, I am coming to realize that it is a terror I am going to experience with increased frequency. Almost every day it feels like another friend is receiving a catastrophic health diagnosis, throwing them into an unexpected health battle. Nobody prepares you for this part of growing older.

Today I'm going to celebrate the absence of phantom pain by playing with Timmy at the park. He can't be enclosed with a lot of people, but the fresh air and change of scenery will do us both some good. I'm looking forward to being outside again, even if we are going to be bundled up from the cold.

Phantom Ankle

This morning I'm hobbling around on what feels like a turned ankle, which is especially frustrating because the ankle joint is gone. Phantom sensations and pain is weird! Unfortunately, the pain decided to make another unwelcome visit in the middle of the night and seems to have settled in for the day.

This bout of phantom pain is especially frustrating because of its presence during the day. Usually the pain haunts me at night but dissipates almost as soon as I slip on my prosthesis and begin to walk. Today, the pain only intensifies with my prosthesis. 

I have my leg off and my limb wrapped with both compression bands and ice packs. I'm hoping I can either squeeze or freeze the nerve endings into submission. Staying off my leg is not an option, so I'm really hoping that this works.  

Most of the time I don't give my amputation much thought. Living with a prosthesis has become such a part of my life and my routine that it no longer has a great impact on my daily activities. However, sometimes being an amputee is miserable. This morning is one of those times.

Sick Again

Timmy was restless last night, tossing and turning all night long. I finally acquiesced and slept on a mattress in his room, hoping that my presence would calm him down and lull him to sleep. My plan didn't work and we both ended up losing sleep.  When we finally crawled out of bed, he grabbed the thermometer in the kitchen and proclaimed that he had bad germs.

Ugh. He wasn't wrong. He has a fever, which is undoubtedly the cause of his restlessness. I hate that he becomes sick so often and so quickly. He is complaining of a sore throat so I am on strep watch. Fingers crossed that strep doesn't materialize. 

He will spend the day on the couch, cuddled under a mountain of blankets and watching cartoons. I hope that this is just a blip and that his fever isn't heralding anything more serious than a cold. Until he is better, my anxiety is going to be heightened.

Autoimmune disorders stink!

Outside!

Even though it was chilly, the sun shining brightly in the clear blue sky made it impossible to stay inside. After lunch Timmy and I bundled up and headed outside into the sunshine. He was delighted to be outside in the fresh air. 

After helping me split some logs, Timmy quickly became bored and began to play in his tree house. He loved climbing up and sliding down through the trees. With his increased agility and strength, I think he is finally at an age where he is safe playing in the structure. Assuming he doesn't decide to try to fly (again), I don't worry about him becoming hurt climbing up and sliding down.

Once a load of wood was split and stowed, Timmy and I set out on a quick bike ride through the neighborhood. We didn't get too far because the cold air made us both uncomfortable, so instead of riding we decided to play with his stomp rockets. By "play" I mean he blasts the rockets off and I retrieve and reset the projectiles. (I realize I could have made him retrieve his own rockets, but I was trying to get in extra sets so it felt like a win-win situation.)

I hope that the weather is nice again today so that we can play outside. We are both becoming bored with our quarantine. I miss seeing people, and I know that Timmy is bored without his buddies.  I know that he is safer staying away from crowds, but it isn't nearly as much fun!

 

Low Key Weekend

By the time we were ready to go to sleep on Friday night Timmy's excitement was at a fevered pitch. He had spent most of the afternoon preparing the tent for our big adventure. After insisting that some of the supplies be removed so that we could fit, he settled on 4 flashlights, 5 blankets, a can of Pringles, a bag of coffee grinds and his fishing pole.  I was going to try to use logic to cull out the fishing pole, but I decided that I didn't want to quell his imagination. We were going on a camp out, so obviously he needed his fishing pole.  

Inexplicably, he slept like a champion. It is probably because he managed to take up most of the air mattress and was snuggled under all of the blankets. He's a little guy, but he tends to spread out in bed. I was huddled in a small corner, using whatever scraps of a blanket I could glean from his pile. Apparently we have a slow leak in the air mattress, because by the sun rose I was teetering on the edge of a very wobbly bed.

After a long nap on Saturday, we spent the day cleaning up from our camp-out and getting caught up on laundry. Robby and I went to play Bingo on Saturday, an event that benefits our local food bank. Although we didn't win, it was fun to get out and do something different. 

Sunday was basically a repeat of Saturday, with less time spent cleaning and more time watching movies on the couch. I could definitely get used to low-key weekends with nowhere to go!