I
had the honor of co-hosting the Women's Round Table discussion at the
Amputee Coalition National Conference. I consider the session to be one
of my favorite conference moments. While I loved reuniting with friends,
the discussion that transpired behind those closed doors was simply
powerful.
We talked about a myriad of topics,
ranging from socket fit to dating to sex. I was in awe both of the
honesty and the strength of all of the women in the room. Opening up to
strangers is difficult, and I was concerned about creating an
environment conducive to sharing. It turns out that my worrying was
unnecessary because, although there were nearly 100 women in the room,
the discussion felt intimate and safe.
I learned one
extremely powerful lesson during the session: young and old, skinny or
overweight, it really doesn't matter. The majority of women have issues
with body image. Hearing everybody confess to the same concerns and
worries was empowering.
As women, we spend an
inordinate amount of time self-loathing and working to conceal or fix
perceived flaws. We don't see the flaws in our friends and in other
women, yet we are highly critical of ourselves. In a way, knowing that
I'm not alone has been both uplifting and sad at the same time.
I
wish that I could view myself through my children's lens. Robby and
Timmy don't care if my thighs are flabby or if my tummy is soft. They
are just happy that I'm in the pool playing with them. They don't care
if my hair is greying or if my boobs are starting to sag. They think
I'm perfect and love me unconditionally. Perhaps it is time I start
offering myself the same courtesy!
These are the very topic we need both men and women need to focus on. Sexuality, body image and how to address that. My focus is on creating a sense of wholeness without the regard to limb loss. Years ago someone asked my partner if it was strange to be with someone intimately with one leg. Her reply was, "Honey if I am thinking about his leg, then he is not getting the job done."
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