Dating Post Amputation

Throughout my 20's, I attended a lot of weddings. It seemed that all of my friends were falling in love and starting new lives simultaneously. Now it feels like the tide is flowing the other way as relationships are ending and divorces are being filed. I have lost track of the number of friends who are going through a divorce, and the figure keeps rising.  

With all of my newly single friends, I re-entered the dating world vicariously through their experiences. (I have never been happier to be content and married. Dating in today's social world feels like an overwhelming nightmare!) Between dating apps, matchmaking programs, and social meet-ups, the entire process of connection has dramatically changed in the past 20 years. 

Helping my newly single friends explore their connection options, I began to wonder how I would disclose my limb loss to potential suitors. I wouldn't want to hide it because I am not ashamed of my amputation. However, I'm certain that calling attention to the amputation in a profile would attract devotees.  Dating is hard enough. Advertising to devotees would make the process overwhelming and, I would worry, increase the danger.  

So how would I handle my amputation on a dating app? I would probably not mention it directly in my profile. The omission would not be out of shame but more an exercise in caution. While I wouldn't mention it in the text of my profile, I might include a photo of me in which the prosthesis is visible. (The photo would not be my profile picture but would be included in the bio, only after the individual has clicked to learn more.) By including a photo of me with my prosthesis, I would be trying to communicate that I am an active and happy woman who happens to live with an amputation.

Dave and I discussed dating apps and amputation on this week's podcast. While neither of us has found ourselves in the situation, it was interesting to talk it out and to conjecture.