Perhaps the dreary weather has caught up with my mood because yesterday I woke up feeling sad. I had no organic reason for my blue mood, but I just couldn't seem to shake feeling depressed. Playing outside with Timmy during a brief break in the weather helped to serve as a distraction but my mood never truly lifted. If I had my druthers, I would have hibernated with a bag of chocolate under a mound of blankets all day. Of course, my maternal and professional obligations interfered with that plan so I put on a happy face and tried to make it through the day.
I spent too much time in the morning sipping on my coffee while fretting about the boys. Although logically I knew that they are
great kids, I began to worry if I was failing them as a mother. By the
time Scott woke up I was almost in tears, convinced that I had made all
of the wrong parental moves. It was in that moment that I realized I was
in for a long and emotional day.
I'm not sure what caused my
downtrodden mood, but I suspect it was a combination of the weather and
menopause. Regardless of the reasons, the feelings were real and
miserable to endure. I quickly accepted that everybody was going to be
better off if I just trudged my way through the day while trying to
reflect as little as possible.
As the day wore on and fatigue began to set in, my mood only worsened. After Timmy went to bed I waved the white flag and curled up under the covers. I felt asleep quickly, and I'm happy to report that I'm feeling better this morning. I can already tell that today is going to be a great day!