Diapered Dancing...

I love to dance. This being said, I have absolutely no talent in this area. My friends and family can attest to my complete lack of rhythm and coordination. There is, however, one person who thinks I'm the best dancer in the world. Robby, my three year old.

Robby and I dance all the time. We dance in the kitchen, through the living room and with his black bear and trains. Sometimes we dance in the car, and we've been known to break into a dance in the middle of the grocery store. (The latter is especially true if Robby happens to hear a Johnny Cash song in the distance.)

I like trying new exercise videos, but quickly discover that many of them are simply not realistic for an amputee lacking natural grace and balance. Carmen Elektra's StripAerobics was recommended by a friend, so I gave it a try. Despite it's name, this video does not teach "dirty" dancing. Most of the routines are comprised of various stretches and slow but deliberate movements. Slow movements are definitely my speed. I also like that there is no hard impact, so the dances are easy on my stump.

There is, however, a LOT of squatting, and she often slaps her rear at the end of each squat. I think it is supposed to be sexy. In my normal zealous ways, I started slapping by my butt while extending from each squat. I felt so ridiculous trying to be sexy that it became fun. Imagine, a middle aged woman with one leg, devoid of graceful and swaggering ways, trying to perform a seductive squat while her toddler is performing the dinosaur stomp.

Robby loves to copy his Mommy, so he often tries to the routines along with me. We have a good time dancing together. But we usually end up freestyling with dances from The Wiggles about half way through the video.

Yesterday morning, when I was cleaning up the kitchen, Robby and I were dancing to the songs on the radio. I paused to pour a third cup of coffee, and watched Robby twirling around the kitchen. Starting with his hands on his hips, he started moving into the dreaded yet effective squat from the video. He slid his little hands down the front of his chubby legs, and went into a full squat. On his way back to standing tall, he then proceeded to slap his little diapered butt with his hand.

Upon seeing my reaction, he continued the diapered butt slap at every opportunity throughout the day. I am now dreading the next time he wants to dance in public, fearing that he will break into one of his stripper dances. I shutter to think of him starting his seductive diapered butt slap in front of our family at the next wedding. I think it is time to put the StripAerobics away for awhile and push The Wiggles.