More Lessons Learned...

I spent the majority of the day yesterday in a training course. For all intent and purposes, I was the visual aid. I am asked to demonstrate the various aspects of the Proprio, and then I show off my "Tyra Banks" runway style by walking up and down the aisle of the room. At the end of the session I am often peppered with questions. To be honest, the questioning is my favorite part!

Because the exhibit hall was opening immediately following the educational session, I had to wear a dress. Normally I am dressed in my conference "uniform" of tan shorts and a light blue polo shirt. Because of this more formal event, I was afforded the opportunity to dress up, or at least, to put on a dress.

They checked my ankle earlier in the day and everything was working properly. I was deemed "good to go" and free to explore Chicago for two hours. After a brief city tour and a quick lunch, I returned to my room to get ready for the session and for the evenings events.

I put on my Spanx (a comfortable girdle type undergarment that features full short legs) and my dress. After doing my hair, putting on my make-up and eating two chocolate covered pretzels, I was ready to conquer the conference.

Everything went fine throughout the education session. The turn-out was relatively strong, about 30 people. More importantly, they seemed interested and open to the new technology. After a lot of sitting and nodding, it was time for me to show off the ankle.

The participants were asked to be quiet during my "runway" walk so they could hear how quiet the ankle really is. The slight buzz of the ankle movement can is only audible when there are no other ambient room noises. I smiled, took a deep breath and tried to walk as "normally" as possible.

Swish swish..buzz... swish swish...buzz........

I heard it, but I was hoping that nobody else did. I kept walking. I kept smiling.

Swish swish....buzz... swish swish...buzz... Oh no! This cannot be happening. I was hoping that nobody else heard the unflattering swishing sound.

One look at an Ossur prosthetist in the audience immediately told me that he heard the noise as well. I looked around the room at the faces of Ossur employees, and I realized that they all heard the unusual sound. Not knowing quite what to do, I kept my head held high as I continued to swish... buzz.... past the audience. I took a seat and we continued with the program.

At the conclusion of the class I was descended upon by three prosthetists and two individuals from Iceland who work in Research and Development. The five men, all whipping out their wrenches, systematically took my leg apart.

Proprio pieces were lined up on the table in front of me. It took me a few moments to process what was occurring. Apparently, they were completely stumped by the source of the swishing sound. My ankle was reassembled, but the pesky swishing sound persisted.

They were absolutely perplexed. Through the heavy Icelandic accents I could decipher that they had never heard the swishing sound before. Unfortunately, I have heard the swishing sound before.

I was going to tell them my theory. As I was formulating my explanation to explain to the men, I realized that they were on the phone having another ankle over-nighted to the conference center. I suppose I should have told them that I knew the culprit of the annoying swishing sound was not the leg.

I never would have guessed that Lycra covered thighs rubbing against each other would make such a loud swishing noise!

How could I tell these men, in dark suits with wrenches in hand, that the sounds were not emanating from the ankle but from my support undergarment? I was too embarrassed!

My new ankle will arrive by 10 AM this morning, and my Spanx are safely stowed in the bottom of my suitcase where they will stay. I have learned two lessons today. First, the swishing sound of lycra covered thighs rubbing against each other can be heard throughout an auditorium. Second, men cannot identify a sound that could be easily recognized by women all over. Both items of information are useful. However, I am looking forward to the new loaner ankle!