It's hard to believe that it has been three weeks since my sister Sheri had her stroke. I vividly remember driving to the hospital, terrified about how much neurological damage she could have sustained. At the time I never envisioned that she would be doing as well as she is 21 days later.
Sheri's recovery has been nothing short of miraculous. Her speech has been completely restored and her word recall is improving daily. She is able to walk without assistance and only has a slight shuffling of her feet. Although it remains her biggest obstacle, she is gaining strength in her right arm and hand.
My sister is now in an awkward stage of recovery. To onlookers, she appears completely healthy and unscathed. Only her close family and friends realize how difficult the most mundane tasks remain for her.
She can't move her arm enough to cook and her strength limits her activities. Opening a can is a laborious task. Every movement, especially on her right side, requires deliberate thought. Between daily functioning, caring for her husband and three small children and participating in grueling therapy sessions, she is exhausted.
Others fail to see that she still needs help and much of the initial outpouring of support is drying up. I know what she is feeling because I experienced a similar trend. This is normal: the crisis is over and people return to their lives. Knowing that something is expected doesn't make it easier to handle.
Perhaps my experiences have caused me to be hyper aware about continuing the support (and meals) past the crisis stage. I don't want those whom I care about to feel the sense of abandonment that stings so much, especially when they are continuing to struggle. I wish I lived closer to Sheri so that I could help more or at least cook her dinner.
In addition to struggling physically, my sister has officially entered the "anger" stage. I knew that it was coming; it was inevitable. Initially, she was so thankful to be alive and focused her thoughts on how bad things could have been. Now, although still grateful, she is comparing her current abilities to those that she had three weeks and a day ago. She is frustrated and angry that this has happened to her. I agree. It simply isn't fair!
There comes a time when somebody is recovering that they don't want to be reminded about how lucky they are. Yes, I knew that I was lucky to still have my knee and the rest of my limbs. I realized that I was fortunate to have been able to schedule my amputation. Despite all of the blessings that I was constantly reminded of, the fact remained that I no longer had my foot. At times I wanted to scream, "If I were truly lucky I wouldn't be in this situation at all!" I suspect my sister wants to yell something similar every time she is met with, "Wow, you're so lucky."
Three weeks ago our lives were forever changed. My sister is now working feverishly to regain her skills and independence. Although the doctors predict that she will be "normal" in six months, she will be living a new reality. She is now a stroke survivor.
About Me
- Peggy
- I am a below knee amputee. More importantly, I am also Mommy to two boys, a very active 10 year old (Robby) and an mischievous toddler (Timmy). I have learned that being a parent with a disability can create some unusual and sometimes humorous situations. This blogger is available for hire! Let's talk and learn how a blog can expand your business.
The part that makes this easier is that Sheri (and Peg for that matter) are not just survivors of these events, but so many others. I know Sheri is having a hard time now, but she has survived other setbacks that werent fair either, this is just another one. It may be the worst, it may not be, but I know she has the strength to do it, because she has proven that in the past.
ReplyDeleteThis is not to minimize what she is going through, but simply my confidence that my cousin will be fine, in time, and time passes quickly.
For those that don't know her, Peg is living proof that surviving problems will eventually lead you to happiness. She is probably happier now than she was before her amputation, just because so many other parts of her life have improved. It is a weird part of what she has been through, no one would want it, but it doesnt mean that your life can't get better.