Yesterday, aka My Pity Party

Yesterday I was miserable. Between my phantom pain (no doubt exacerbated by the excessive yard work of the previous two days) and my husbands snoring, I doubt I slept more than two hours. I woke up tired, in pain and irritable.

The blister on the side of my stump has made wearing my prosthetic painful and difficult. I respect skin sores on my limb enough to take care of them properly. I have known too many amputees who lost more of their limb due to a fast moving or stubborn infection. I knew I was going to have to keep the pressures placed on my leg at a minimum which meant that I was going to have to stay out of my prosthetic as much as possible.

I tried to keep my irritability in check, especially around Robby. I knew that I was short tempered, but I also realized that my frustrations were not caused by him. I vowed to have a happy and quiet day. I set Robby and myself up on the couch in the living room and settled in for a day of cartoons and movies. Thankfully the weather cooperated with my need to stay indoors--it was raining and cold all day!

We snacked on Goldfish crackers, chicken nuggets and noodles. We watched so many episodes of the Backyardigans that I know I will be hearing the songs in my sleep! Robby played with his cars when he became bored but never asked to do anything active. I have to admit that he was an extremely good little boy!

Although I enjoyed the quiet time with my little guy, I have to admit that my mood never completely elevated. I spent much of the day lamenting the fact that a small little blister on my stump has such an impact on my daily routine. People get blisters on their feet all the time, yet they are still able to ambulate and don't fear infections. As an amputee, I don't have the luxury of ignoring a small sore.

Most of the time I feel as if I am a well-adjusted amputee. I don't spend a lot of time complaining that I have to use a prosthetic. In fact, the only times I really hate being an amputee occur when I cannot fully participate in my life. Yesterday, my lack of sleep merged with my leg pain to create the "perfect storm" for a grumpy mood day!

Robby seemed happy and oblivious to my depressed and frustrated mood. He even dubbed the day "Robby and Momom's Super Fun Pajama Couch Party." Each time he said it he would smile. I think a more apt name would have been "Momom's Super Big Pity Party."

Being an amputee isn't always easy. I've learned that my ability to walk is dependent upon a variety of factors. Sometimes, being reliant upon healthy skin, functioning mechanical pieces and a comfortable socket just plain stinks!