Today I find myself in an unusual situation. Robby is still sick, and I'm not with him. Instead, I'm in a hotel room in Minnesota preparing myself for a day of training.
This is the first time that I am away from Robby when he is not feeling well. I've nursed him through every infection, bump, cut, and bruise for the past five years. I feel guilty for not being with him today!
Guilt, I've learned, is part of being a mom. I constantly feel like I should be doing some more or that I should be better than I am. This morning I feel conflicted. Part of me feels selfish for leaving Robby while he is sick. At the same time, I know that this is a fantastic professional opportunity that will benefit the entire family. I am starting to rediscover a life outside of caring for Robby, but the guilt of leaving him while he is sick is overwhelming.
I know that Robby is on the mend and is in great hands because Scott has taken off of work in order to be with him. The two were planning a "Daddy/ Robby sick day" when I was leaving. From what I overheard, they intend to stay in their pajamas all day. (Apparently clothing is a "Momom rule.") They are planning on lying on the sofa bed while watch Scooby Doo and CARS. Robby is looking forward to eating Kraft mac and cheese and as many vanilla pudding cups as he desires for every meal.
I am trying to push the mom guilt out of my mind and concentrate on the task at hand. I'll be in a class all day trying to absorb every detail about insurance reimbursement and the appeal process. It's been a long time since I've had to take notes! Wish me luck!