Sick and Lonely

Despite opening my computer yesterday morning to be greeted by a busy schedule, I knew that most of the items on tap would be rescheduled. I have fought it for a week, but was finally rendered with little doubt that I was sick.

My sore throat, only a mild inconvenience, had morphed into being moderately painful. More of an annoyance than my sore throat, for some reason my uvula (the dangling thing in the back of the throat) had swollen to nearly three times its normal size turning each swallow into a deliberate and uncomfortable event.  Although I didn't have a fever, my telltale sign for taking it easy, I am beginning to appreciate the other signals my body sends. I guess learning to listen to my body is a skill that comes with age. A physician's diagnosis of strep throat and double ear infection confirmed my fears: I was sick.

I cancelled my external meetings for the day with the intention of resting as much as Timmy would allow. Unfortunately, babies don't understand (or perhaps they simply don't care) if Momom needs a sick day. He was happy and active, demanding my full (albeit dwindling) energy. Yesterday was one of those days where I wish I had friends or family who lived close enough for me to call for help. Lacking any extra hands, I began to feel not only sick but also very much alone. 

I don't live on a street lined with neighbors and friends. While I'm on friendly terms with the few individuals with whom we share our little road, especially Mr. Bill, I'm not able to call them for help when I'm sick. Mr. Bill, who has helped us immensely over the years, has made it clear that he does not feel comfortable caring for babies. I will always respect his wishes by never asking him to help with Timmy. 

I have a lot of friends, but none of them live in my geographical area. It's strange. They never feel far away until I am in a situation where I could benefit from proximity.  Sometimes, talking on the phone or communicating via internet isn't enough. Yesterday, in addition to feeling yucky, I began to really miss my friends!

Feeling sick and lonely, I surrendered myself to a "feel bad" day. I entertained Timmy when possible, and allowed him to play by himself when I needed to rest. We did a lot of sitting and rocking, but he didn't complain. I streamed Christmas movies and tried to put the feelings of isolation out of my mind. I only managed to achieve a festively depressed state. 

Although I didn't want to spend the day resting and feeling sad, I think it was necessary. My body was crying out for a break, and perhaps my psyche was just as needy. Either way, my little sick day pity party was just what I needed. Some more rest, additional fluids and a few more doses of antibiotics should bring me back to my normally exhausted self.