Much to screaming Timmy's chagrin, yesterday I took an extra long time getting out of bed. I tried to block out the wailing of his discontent as I slowly stretched and enjoyed being prone for a few brief moments. I knew that it was going to be a long day, and I wanted to enjoy the solitude as long as possible. Of course, solitude and a screaming toddler don't mix well, so my efforts were short lived. I begrudgingly put on my leg and prepared for the ensuing chaos of another Monday morning.
Just as I predicted, it was constant movement from the moment I picked him up in the morning until I fell into bed at night. Between a near constant stream of work calls, projects with converging due dates, and Timmy tantrums, I barely had time to grab a quick snack for lunch. I hate those frantic mommy days when I feel like I'm barely treading water. I always feel like I'm doing enough to stay afloat but never enough to be really good at anything.
While yesterday I was a good employee, I feel like I was a lousy Mom. I was snappy and impatient with both boys. I know that everybody would have been better off if I had just unplugged, put down the phone and played for awhile. Unfortunately my schedule was demanding and my timelines were pressing. Perhaps it was fatigue induced, but I went to bed feeling like an utter failure. I tried my best to push the negative thoughts out of my mind, but I definitely had a difficult time decompressing and falling asleep.
Today my schedule is less compact allowing me some much needed playtime. The weather is supposed to be crisp and beautiful, so I think I may take Timmy for a special mommy and me farm adventure. I think we could both use the break from our normal routine. (Thankfully he is not yet verbal, so I don't have to worry about him telling his big brother that we went to the farm without him.) Today will be a better day!