In an attempt to hide from the raw emotions brought out by my recent dreams, I spent much of yesterday trying to stay busy. As long as I was engaged with the kids or with a project, my tears stayed at bay. It was during those brief moments of solitude that the delayed guilt/grief swept over me like a tidal wave. Thankfully Timmy was more than happy to occupy the majority of my day, so my emotional spells were brief and few.
After Boot Camp we all headed to the farm for the afternoon. To his absolute delight, Robby and I spent an hour fishing at the pond. We stopped counting at 10, but it is safe to say that he had a great day reeling them in. Of course he is still timid about unhooking the fish, a less than glamorous duty that falls to me. Scott is highly tactile defensive and quickly bailed on fishing, opting instead to play with Timmy on the playgrounds and jumping pillow.
When we were finally out of bait, Robby and I packed up and met with Scott and Timmy to pick some peaches. There is nothing comparable to picking a ripe peach and eating it directly off the tree while the juices are flowing from the heat of the sun. As it turns out, we ended up having peaches in the orchard for lunch.
In the evening we went to the pool for a few hours where Robby was able to play with some friends. Timmy practiced jumping into our arms and splashing on the stairs. Although the day started off with difficult emotions, my vow to stay busy certainly helped to turn it around. I still feel horribly guilty about my Dad and surprisingly grief stricken again, but I'm learning that avoidance works perfectly for me.