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I am a below knee amputee. More importantly, I am also Mommy to two boys, a very active 10 year old (Robby) and an mischievous toddler (Timmy). I have learned that being a parent with a disability can create some unusual and sometimes humorous situations. This blogger is available for hire! Let's talk and learn how a blog can expand your business.

Friday, March 31, 2017

Anxiety Mantra

My doctors tweaked my medicine last week. As he was walking out of the exam room, the doctor casually mentioned that I might feel some side effects as my body adjusts. He failed to mention that the medication change would throw my entire emotional equilibrium into a blender. Knowing the cause is organic and fleeting, I've been struggling to remain centered and happy.

Yesterday I woke up in the middle of a panic attack and, unfortunately my day failed to improve. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't get into the groove of the day. I smiled, played with Timmy and cuddled with him on the couch throughout the day, but I still felt off somehow.

I honestly don't know how my fellow anxiety suffers cope with regular occurrences. I felt like I was walking on egg shells, waiting for an atomic bomb to drop all day long. Logically I knew that I was safe and that everything was fine, but knowing and feeling are sometimes different things.

To add insult to my already frustrating day, I dropped my cell phone and cracked the screen. I became angry knowing my anxiety jitters contributed to my phone clumsiness. At that point I just locked myself in the bathroom and cried.

Reminding myself that the medication adjustment is temporary has been both my mantra and my lifeline. I'm hoping that the adjustment is short. I am grateful that my anxiety days are not frequent, and I'm hoping that they will soon be behind me.

1 comment:

  1. Breathe my dear friend, just breathe, What and I hope to change is that people dealing with limb loss also suffer from PTSD. It is something we need as a culture address. The same goes for cancer patients. The emotional issues are great. So know you are doing a great job. and please don't laugh but chocolate fires off good endorphins in the brain.