Not a Good Mom

I usually do not experience phantom pain during the day.  While many of my friends suffer constantly, it has always been an issue that occasionally plagued me at night. Apparently my phantom foot failed to recognize that the sun was shining, because yesterday I was hurting all day long. By the time mid afternoon arrived I was miserable and frustrated dealing with the issues from arising from a foot that is no longer there. Talk about infuriating!

I have huge respect and empathy from those who battle phantom pain daily. I honestly don't know how people function and live a normal life under those circumstances. Because I was frustrated and in pain, I know that I wasn't the best Mom to my boys. I found myself both irritated and annoyed at little things. Normally I would have just rolled with the punches, but yesterday every little thing felt like it was pushing me to the limits. My little Timmy just wanted to play and bake cookies where I just wanted to curl up on the couch and be left alone. 

I have no idea what caused this flare-up, which is one of the aggravations of being an amputee. I never really know when I am going to wake up in pain, whether it be phantom or from physical limb issues. The uncertainty is one of the difficult things for me to accept about being an amputee. 

I felt horrible for my grumpy affect because I know that the kids did nothing to deserve my demeanor. By the time the sun set the pain slowly started to fade. I slept well through the night, and I'm hoping that today I am a better Mom. My boys certainly deserve better from me!