I'm not sure of the impetus, but last night my phantom pain was through the roof. It began after dinner and the intensity only increased through the night. The phantom yellow jackets stopped stinging the bottom of my missing foot around 3 am, allowing me a few hours of sleep before Hamlet woke me up for the day.
Struggling with pain in an appendage that is no longer attached is both physically and emotionally exhausting. I am trying to apply logic and reason to try to determine why my nerve endings were so angry last night, but I think it is fruitless. In the 15 plus years since I became an amputee, I have accepted that sometimes nerve endings just have a mind of their own. Last night they were asserting dominance, a painful reminder of my vulnerabilities.
Today is one of those days when I hate being an amputee. I resent the phantom pain that arrives uninvited, ruining both my mood and my night. I am trying to remind myself that, in comparison to my friends, I am lucky that my dealings with phantom pain are relatively few. It's hard to count my blessings when I'm so exhausted, but I'm going to keep trying!