I was optimistic that Timmy would be waking up in a hard cast this morning. Unfortunately my optimism did not pan out. The doctor did not yet want to proceed to the hard cast, which was disappointing, but he also did not recommend surgery-yet. After examining a new round of x-rays it was decided to give Timmy's arm another week for the bones to settle down. If they continue to shift, surgery will be scheduled after his appointment next week. If the bones stay in place and do not move more, they will put him into a cast.
While part of me would like to just make a decision and go with it, I understand the need to proceed with caution. I think I spent so many years of my life in orthopedic limbo that the thought of my son riding this roller coaster, even for a short period of time, saddens me. He is ready to ditch the sling and get back to moving. Waiting is hard, even when you know it is the right thing to do.
After Timmy's appointment I spent the afternoon working and cleaning up around the house. I gathered up all of the scraps of paper that were used to plan my brother's memorial service. Seeing the constant reminders of his death has become overwhelming. I think the only way I can maintain my composure will be through utilizing my favorite go to coping strategy: avoidance. I am going to try to focus on my day-to-day activities because thinking about Jae's death.
Today is another step towards normalcy. Timmy is going to return to school after an extended Spring Break. I know that he is missing his friends and resuming his schedule will be good for everybody.
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