Toddler Tornado of Trouble

For the second time in as many weeks, last night I went to bed knowing that I had been defeated by a toddler. My sweet little Hamlet burned into a tornado of destruction in the blink of an eye. One moment he was happily playing with his toy kitchen, whipping up and proudly serving me delightful plastic concoctions. In the blink of an eye, and seemingly without cause, I saw the twinkle of mischief in his eye and he started sprinting through the house like a wrecking ball.

He ran with his arms extended so that he could sweep and knock over anything and everything in his path. Giggling, he seemed to be on a mission to cause as much destruction as possible before being caught.  When we finally snagged him (he can duck and turn quicker than the most seasoned boxer), my little terror showed no remorse. He only laughed in our faces as we sequestered him to his room.

Usually he hates to be confined to his bedroom. Last night he took his punishment as a challenge. He completely destroyed his bedroom within minutes, knocking over his bins and stacking his wipes only so he could knock them down as soon as I opened the door.

I was completely at the end of my rope. Not knowing what I could do that would make an impact, I did the only thing that came to mind. I took his beloved Puppy Blanket and threw him out the window. The look on Timmy's face as he watched his beloved companion flying through the air only to land on top of the SUV in the driveway was one of devastation. With one single act I managed to break the cyclone of toddler destruction.

Usually I would feel badly about doing something to cause emotional distress. This time I felt victorious instead of remorseful. I finally found my bargaining chip with Timmy. When he misbehaves, he will lose Puppy Blanket. Hopefully I won't have to take the blanket often because I really don't enjoy being a mean Momom. 

 

 

Guesstimate Mishap= Mulch Mountain

Scott and I are especially bad at judging measurements and amounts. When it comes to deciding how much grass seed we need, how many yards of mulch would be appropriate for our flowerbeds and how many cords of wood will be needed to get us through the winter, we can't figure it out and end up guessing. (Just a hint if you ever find yourself deciding how much wood you may need to get through the winter. A cord of wood is a lot! I know this because two winters ago we ordered three cords to be delivered. It's still stacked in the driveway.)

Yesterday we accepted an obscene amount of mulch, another order based upon nothing more than a due a guesstimate and a quest for free delivery. Apparently the landscape store's offer to deliver 10 square yards of mulch wasn't an arbitrary decision. They deliver 10 yards because it is a lot of mulch. How do I know this? Because it's piled next to the wood pile that continues to mock us by standing tall and never seeming to diminish.

Scott and Robby worked throughout the afternoon scooping, schlepping and spreading the mulch through our flowerbeds and around the house. Despite three of the four beds being completely coated with a four inch blanket of mulch, we barely made a dent on imposing shredded wood mountain. Looking at the pile from the house, I'm fairly certain that it will be years before we regain complete access to our driveway.

The boys will continue to tackle the mountain today. I know that it won't be completely dispersed this week, but it will be nice to have everything mulched at the same time. When we're done, I might invite the neighbors to a fire pit party. It will be nice to sit and enjoy the freshly landscaped yard on a cool spring evening. I might even give out wheelbarrows of mulch as party favors!

The amp'd Amputee Bill of Rights

A few weeks ago Dave and I were approached with the challenge to create a Bill of Rights for the limb loss community. At first the task felt overwhelming, and my immediate instinct was to wait to tackle the project. Then a few hours passed, and I found my mind continually returning to the challenge. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, I began to feel excited about being part of creating such a unique document.  My feeling unprepared and ill-equipped slowly started to fade as I embraced the possibility that I am capable.  By the time the day was over I was chomping at the bit to get started. 

Pondering what I consider to be a right for every member of the limb loss community turned out to be a fascinating exercise of self-evaluation and reflection. What do I believe, and for what am I willing to fight to maintain or achieve? I was forced to pare down large concepts into firm beliefs, chipping away at the details until I had a solid foundation. I learned a lot about myself and my allegiance with the amputee community through this experience.

The process was laborious and deliberate. Dave and I separately created our own ten rights, exchanging lists only after we were complete.  We then worked to merge and create a master list of 15 rights. We released the draft to the community and invited input and suggestions. Friday night he and I spent hours on the phone, pouring over the suggestions we received in an attempt to create a solid, all-encompassing document.  Throughout the process it was imperative that the Bill of Rights be a crowd-source created document, and we were delighted with the response from the community.

After countless hours of reflection, discussion, writing (and rewriting), planning and organizing, yesterday we released the final amp'd Amputee Bill of Rights. This document details the 15 solid principles that we believe every individual living with limb loss should be afforded. A project which initially rendered me overwhelmed has left me feeling empowered and strengthened. I have no doubt that I will be a better activist because of this challenge. I now know, without hesitation, what I believe to be a right of every individual within the limb loss community.

Vacation Week Begins- Let the Chores Assigning Commence!

Today marks the first official day of Spring Break 2017, or as Scott coined SB #23 (because this is his 23rd year teaching).  Unlike the past few years, it seems that the weather is going to cooperate with a forecast of bright skies and warm temperatures. It will be nice to be able to spend time outside, enjoying the sunshine while getting the yard readied for summer. At least, that is how I framed it when I broke the yard work news to the boys.

Of course, neither Scott nor Robby are particularly ecstatic about my slipping yard work into the plans. The pair have been looking forward to spending the week watching television, eating snacks in bed and playing computer games wearing nothing but their underwear.  Yesterday I ruined their underwear-only initiative by insisting that they put on pants so that we could all go outside for awhile.  After a lovely bike ride through the neighborhood with a happy Hamlet in tow, I ruined Robby and Scott's lazy day aspirations by requesting help picking up sticks.

It wasn't long before they realized that this Spring Break was not going to be a gluttonous electronic binging fest. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be elevated to public enemy number one when the 10 cubic yards of mulch is delivered on Tuesday. I'm not going to be a complete tyrant about working during vacation, but I am going to make sure that at least a chunk gets crossed off of our family to-do list!

Vacation!

Happy Spring Break! 

Yesterday was Robby's last official school day until after Easter. Picking him up from school he was giddy with excitement, vowing to enjoy eleven full days of fun, relaxation and "no learning whatsoever." My young lad is going to be disappointed when he realizes that I have some yard work projects in store for the coming week. However, I'm a nice Momom so I'll allow him to enjoy his revelry before bursting his bubble. 

Scott's vacation starts at the end of the school day today, and then we will all be together for the next week and a half. I know that Hamlet is going to be delighted to have his brother and Daddy home for an extended period of time.  While I doubt that he will be helpful with our yard work, I'm certain that he'll thoroughly enjoy being outside and in the middle of the action. Who knows, maybe we can channel his love of throwing things to help us clear sticks out of the yard. 

I know that by the middle of next week I'll be ready for my routine to resume, but I'm going to try to make the most of enjoying everybody being home. I'm bringing out the paper plates and stocking the freezer with assorted snacks in an attempt to minimize my "family vacation workload." Hopefully this time we will all be able to relax and enjoy the vacation.

"Patching Up" the Green Belt

Yesterday my little karate Koopa earned his green belt. I am so proud of the effort that he has put towards this accomplishment. Physical feats do not come easy for him, mainly because of some equilibrium issues from his hearing problems, but what he lacks in natural skill he makes up for with grit and determination. He isn't the most graceful, but he never gives up!

What should have been a proud moment was marred at the end of last night's belt ceremony. I knew as soon as the instructors started bestowing special patches on select students that my kiddo was going to leave the mat with hurt feelings. The pride that he felt when his belt was tied around his waist evaporated when his name was not called to receive a patch. Instead of celebrating his accomplishment, he quietly asked me why his instructors don't like him.

If the patches are necessary, I suggest that the instructors consider doing it privately. Holding up select students on a higher pedestal during a ceremony meant to honor all who have earned their belts only serves to deflate those not chosen for special recognition. Perhaps privately handing a student a patch after a particularly good skill session would be more appropriate. I need to be clear on this point: I would feel the exact same way had Robby been selected to receive a patch.

I don't believe that his not receiving a patch was a purposeful slight. In fact, I think that the feelings of all of the students was not on the radar of the instructors. We live in a prize driven society, and the patches are simply an extension of that mentality. Instead of allowing kids to feel the pride from working hard to earn something, we now try to pad the experience by creating extra awards and recognition. Unfortunately, creating awards has the opposite effect by devaluing the accomplishment for each student who worked hard and earned the belt.

Storm Door

Although we have the best of intentions, Scott and I are not particularly adept at home repairs. Try as we might to remain calm and focused, our projects almost always end up with bloodshed, bruises and more cursing than one would hear on a pirate ship. Because we don't have a stellar track record, we tend to wait until something is completely broken or debilitated before embarking on the project.

Our front storm door had been hanging by two hinges for the past two years. We've had to physically lift the door up to put it back into place whenever it was opened. Because the door didn't close without our not-so-subtle fix, it had become a source of embarrassment whenever anybody came over. Despite not hanging properly, not closing completely and being rotted through the bottom, we procrastinated procuring a replacement because we dreaded the installation.

Over the weekend we finally had enough of our broken down front door and decided to tackle the project. With tools in hand, Scott set out to remove the old door which turned out to be easy because it was only secured with two hinges. Because the removal was so easy, Scott and I were optimistic that the new door would go up as easily.  After all, even the box boasted "easy to hang" written in large red letters.

The box is a liar. It took three hours, multiple attempts and more than one episode of colorful language to get the "easy to hang" door in place. At one point it was resting squarely on top of my prosthesis so that Scott could line it up properly. (A benefit of being an amputee I suppose; I was able to keep the door in position without feeling any pain or expending any effort.)

After an afternoon that was worth of our procrastination, the door is finally hung and fully operational. It looks and works great. Soon our bruises will heal and we will be able to look at it without scorn and resentment.