Queen Bee.

I woke up this morning with a determination and resolve to get my house in order. I've been working hard to regain control over my health and my body. Unfortunately, my housework has suffered. To be completely honest, I've never been a great housekeeper. I am embarrassed to admit that my house is just plain dirty, even by my lax standards.

As Robby and I had our oatmeal, I made a list of chores I wanted to get done today. We had our bug class scheduled for 2:00 so I had 5 solid hours to clean. I turned up the iPod and got to work.

Now, I guess I should explain that I wear a tiara when I clean. I do this for a few reasons. I tell my husband I wear it because it keeps my hair out of my eyes, but the true reason I wear it when I clean is that it just makes me feel better. Scrubbing toilets and sweeping old peas off the floor doesn't lend itself to feeling glamorous or pretty. Wearing the tiara makes me feel pretty and adds a bit of whimsy to the mundane chores. Besides, I own the tiara and I have yet to be invited to an occasion where it would be an appropriate accessory.

Robby and I worked all morning, but I managed to complete much of the list. At 1:30 he told me that he was hungry which was the first time I had looked at the clock all morning. If I didn't hurry him into the car, we were going to miss our bug class.

I quickly changed his pants and put a clean shirt on him. I grabbed a Lunchable and his bug box. We ran out the door, and he was strapped into his booster seat in record time. Luckily, we didn't run into any traffic, and we made it to the class with 5 minutes to spare.

Bug class was exciting. We learned all about bumblebees. We learned that they fly, make honey and live in hives. We also learned that they have queens. During the bumblebee dance, the teacher asked me to be the Queen Bee. Anybody who has ever been to a toddler class knows that this is quite an honor. It may sound odd, but I was thrilled. I felt like my son had the "cool Mom."

I performed the "Queen bee" dance with as much animation and enthusiasm as possible. I had a blast with the kids, but was a little disconcerted by the parents. They seemed a little off today. "Oh well," I thought. "It is their loss and maybe they are just jealous that I got to be queen bee." Smiling and feeling a little smug, I packed Robby up to come home.

I got Robby situated into his booster seat, and started to adjust the rear view mirror. It was at this moment that I saw my reflection in the mirror. All of my blood felt like it was rushing away from me in a wave of humiliation. I realized that I wasn't the super cool Mommy. I was the weird Mommy who showed up to a bug class wearing a sparkly tiara!