A Toddler's Utopia...

Little Robby has just discovered what he perceives to be Paradise. Scott and I both have made an effort to withhold this information from him. We were correct in our fears. Once Robby made the discovery, our lives have been forever changed. He has discovered that some fast food restaurants have elaborate, enclosed playrooms.

The excessive heat, paired with my newly discovered pituitary tumor and thyroid issues, have caused us to be creative in our efforts to get Robby exercise. He is a much happier little boy when he can run and play. I am a much happier Mommy when he runs and plays because it typically results in a longer sleep for him.

The other day, both Scott and I became desperate. Much to our chagrin, we packed up our little guy and took him to Burger King. He loves eating Burger King food, but we've always purchased the food through the drive-thru. This was the first time since his birth that we actually stepped foot inside a fast food restaurant .

Kids must have a sixth sense when it comes to discovering play equipment. As soon as we walked through the door, he took off like a flash. He then screamed "Oh My! Oh My!" I should have known that we were wasting our money when I ordered him food. He didn't stop playing long enough to eat.

Robby has found his Utopia. Between the climbing tubes, the toy cars and the twirly slide, he was in heaven. He ran, jumped, slid and played for nearly two hours. I discovered that they have a television in the playroom which makes my captivity bearable.

Even if I were healthy, I quickly discovered that the play area was not "amputee friendly." Between the jumping floors, crawl tubes and the net bridges, it would be treacherous for this Amputee Mommy to participate. In this case, my amputation is an excellent excuse. I'm pretty sure my "fertile, wide hips" wouldn't fit through the tubes and I would get stuck. I imagine the fire department coming to the rescue, armed with wrenches to free the disproportionately large hipped one-legged woman. With my luck, the entire ordeal would end up on the evening news.

The fast food playroom is a wonderful place for the tired Mommy. To say that I am fatigued would be an understatement. I don't have the strength to keep up with him right now, but I feel badly allowing the television to be the babysitter. At this restaurant, he can run and play with other children. I can sit quietly.

Initially we were worried that Robby would be intimidated by the size of the slide and the shear height of the equipment. It turns out that our fears were unfounded. He demonstrated no inhibitions and immediately started climbing and crawling. My only concern came about was when he entered the tunnels carrying a french fry, and slid down the corkscrew slide happily munching on a cheeseburger.

We have been to Burger King twice in the past four days. Robby is now constantly asking to go to Burger King to play. We decided to shake things up a bit today. We went to the McDonald's. "Oh My!"