I feel guilty. I absolutely adore Robby, and I am so thankful to be his Mommy. We have a lot of fun playing and learning during the day, but there are some days I don't get to go to the bathroom by myself. I know that this stage will pass, but by the end of the day, I'm exhausted. I am often asleep shortly after he does!
Some days, sleep is the only time I get to be alone. I like my sleep. I need my sleep. When I hear the bell that we installed over Robby's bedroom door ring, and the pitter-patter of his little feet in the middle of the night, my heart drops.
Robby has been having trouble sleeping through the night. His midnight jaunts into our room have been increasing in frequency as he crawls into our bed, between Scott and me, and falls asleep.
If he slept in the middle of the bed, perhaps I would not have such an issue. However, he prefers to sleep on top of me. If not on me, he settles for snuggling so close to me that I am trapped. If I move, he wakes up and I miss my sleep. If I stay still, he sleeps but my body begins to cramp and overheat.
Scott has been looking forward to the middle of the night visits since Robby was conceived. He often spoke about the time when the little one would tip toe over and crawl into bed. Scott doesn't mind our nocturnal visits. Perhaps this is because Robby does not intrude into his sleeping space.
Last night, at 2 am, I heard the foreboding sound of the little bell. Before I could open my eyes, Robby was standing in front of me, Binky in mouth and Black Bear in his arms. I asked him what was wrong, hoping his visit was prompted by the invasion of monsters. (The monsters are quickly eradicated by the "monster spray.")
He muttered something about being cold, and assumed his position. I tried placing the body pillow between us, hoping that he would snuggle the fabric and let me breathe. No such luck. The pillow was quickly tossed and before I knew it, he was cuddled close.
He quickly fell asleep. As I tried to manipulate his body so that I could breathe, I made a discovery. I realized that he was cold because he experienced a catastrophic failure of his nighttime diaper.
The poor little guy was wet and that is what prompted his visit. He was lying next to me and apparently warmed up. He was sound asleep and comfortable. I tried to find a comfortable position, allowing him to stay close but to keep me somewhat removed from the urine.
I know that this phase will pass. If he is still sneaking into our bed when he is in his teens or twenties I promise to seek family therapy. In the meantime, I will continue to try to make the best of this phase.
My mind becomes quirky in the middle of the night, as I am struggling for sleep and a comfortable position. My mind drifts to possible revenge scenarios. Last night I woke Scott up with my chuckling. I imagined Robby bringing home his first girlfriend. I greeted her, and then Robby left to use the bathroom. When he returned, Scott and I, in unison, began to sing the "Pee Pee in the Potty Song." Ideas such as these keep me entertained in the wee hours of the morning, when Robby is stealing my sleep. It would behoove Robby to allow me to sleep before I envision even more creative humiliation scenarios for my vault.