Message Boards

I find myself flooded with a myriad of emotions ranging from heartache and grief to anger and rage. It has been a difficult few days for our family. Unfortunately, the situation was made worse by the comments of a few ignorant individuals.

A newspaper article was written about the car accident involving Jacob. It didn't surprise me that it was featured in the newspapers. In a relatively small town where news is slow, a child being struck by a car makes headlines. If the incident had occurred in a city, it may have been mentioned briefly in a few sentences and then forgotten. Living in a small town has benefits. Unfortunately, as I have witnessed during the past few days, being big news in a small town can have a negative impact.

The article that was written was fair. It was primarily fact based. I was not thrilled that the article featured two photos. The first picture was of my sister, entering the helicopter as she was grasping onto Jakey's stuffed dog with the pain and anguish on her face clearly depicted. It was a heartbreaking photo. The second photo showed Jacob being pushed on a stretcher towards the helicopter. Personally, I found showing a child in that state to be exploitative and unnecessary.

The internet version of the newspaper allows for readers to leave comments. Obviously, I read the comments, and I was shocked. The comments were not constructive; they were simply mean. They were blaming my sister for the accident, referring to her as "crazy" and "neglectful." They questioned her parenting skills as well as her love for her children.

I immediately phoned my brother-in-law Wade. After discussing the situation with him, we agreed that the internet articles needed to be kept from my sister. She was consumed with guilt and pain for the injury sustained by her child. Seeing the hate-mongers casting more blame would simply amplify the anguish.

I wrote a comment after the article, offering the family's perspective of the accident. I defended my sister's parenting skills, and echoed the fact that the police found no neglect on her part. I pointed out that not one "commentator" expressed concern for little Jake or for his family. They were merely consumed with casting blame.

An hour later, I answered the telephone to discover that our plan had failed. My sister had, indeed, read the on-line article and subsequent comments. She was near hysterics.

I was irate as I drove to the hospital. I found her in tears, nearly inconsolable. She saw her child struck by a car in front of her eyes and now she was being called a neglectful, crazy and unloving parent. Her pain was deepened by the negative opinions of those not familiar with the situation. I am her sister; therefore, my pain was heightened by seeing her in this state.

After consoling her and visiting with Jacob, I returned to my Mom's house and logged on to the message board. Many people had left positive comments encouraging Sheri and Jacob and wishing him a speedy recovery and prayers. We are thankful for those words. There were, however, a slew of individuals who took their negativity to an unhealthy and, to be frank, just plain mean level.

Being an amputee, I have been the recipient of a myriad of rude and thoughtless comments by strangers. I've even been approached and informed that I "wouldn't go to heaven" because I was an amputee. I've been called a freak, a robot, intellectually deficient and ugly. All of these "comments" were slung by ignorant individuals who do not know me or my family. I should not be surprised by the opinions left under the shield of anonymity on a message board. The comments were so outrageous I was left speechless.

One commenter expressed pity for Jacob because Jacob had me as an Aunt. That statement was like a dagger in my heart. Anybody who knows me would testify to my love for my niece and nephews. This post was especially hurtful.

And then, this post just got nasty. This is an exact quote of his post:

"You sound like yet another lowlife sex freak woman who probably doesnt work and lays on the computer all day cybering with filthy men. Take a minute and think about yourself Miss Peggy- shouldnt your mind be on your relative in ICU instead of hooking up with any Tom, Dick, and Harry from the net?"

My nephew was struck by a car and has been in intense pain. He has a broken pelvis, ankle and vertebra. His lungs are severely bruised, and he has cuts all over his head and face. And somebody read the article and, rather than being concerned for a severely injured three year old and his family, attacks me?

The comment offered by this man was hurtful and unnecessary. It brought me to tears, probably due to the exhaustion I was feeling. I felt deflated.

I am trying to figure out why somebody would write such a heartless, mean comment to a stranger whose family had just experienced a tragic event. I am left with no answers. Rather than focusing on the few mean spirited postings, I am going to choose to focus on the outpouring of love and hope offered by so many.