I Know I'm Whining...

I have not been having the best few days. I don't think that there is anything worse for a Mommy than seeing her child in pain and being relatively helpless to ease their distress. To make matters worse, I am also having prosthetic and stump challenges.

Robby is continuing to have "withholding" issues. We took him to a new pediatrician who discovered that he was so backed up with poop that she could feel it by pressing on his tummy. I learned that his issues don't stem from his simply being fearful of having a bowel movement. Because he has been engaging in this behavior for so long, the nerves have been damaged and the signal to push is no longer reaching his brain.

The pediatrician informed me that I will be dealing with this issue for the next 6 to 8 months. That is nearly 25% of his life! All we talk about is poop. The color, the consistency, the refusal/ inability to push. I hate poop.

We have been given (many times unsolicited) oodles of advice from well-meaning individuals. We have been told to sit him on the potty for as long as it takes for him to "learn." We have been told to ignore the behavior entirely. We have been told to bribe him. Thank goodness bribery didn't work because I promised him a convertible, a kitten and a goat.

To date, we have spent nearly an unconscionable amount of money on Robby's bum. We have bought gallons of Vaseline and Desitin to treat the chronic rash that is the result his "anti-poopy dance." We have tried assorted laxatives and fiber additives. A complete about face has occurred in regards to potty training. I fear I'll still be smearing his bum with cream and cramming him into an Elmo diaper when he is a teenager!

We have begun a regimen of enemas and laxatives. We are hoping to clear him out and then "keep the pipes clean" so that he doesn't have to exert any effort when having a bowel movement. After 3-4 months of induced diarrhea, we can begin to cut back on the laxatives. Three to four months of changing soggy, smelly diarrhea diapers. Where is my Hallmark card for this? And there is more.

For whatever reason, my socket just hasn't been comfortable the last few days. I am constantly releasing pressure in the socket to alleviate the stinging and cramping that accompanies a tight prosthetic. My stump is sore after a few hours and I am forced to remove my leg.

Unfortunately I cannot keep my leg off for any extended period. It seems that the minute I take off my leg, Robby begins his "poop dance." I am forced to put the leg back on to engage in a full body contact diaper change.

I am tired of poop and all things poop related. I am tired of my leg not fitting correctly. I am tired because Robby is having trouble sleeping, and when I am finally able to sleep, I have difficulty because my limb hurts. I am tired of searching for the more glamorous side of motherhood!