My Scary Night

I have written before about dealing with the pituitary tumors that were diagnosed last August. Although the prescribed medication helps to keep the symptoms in check, I have known that the tumors need to be removed. I have lost count of the number of surgeries that I have had, but I know that the number is in excess of 25. I have never had a surgery close to my brain. The prospect terrifies me.

I have been treated for several months by a doctor who specializes in pituitary tumors. Initially, surgery was presented as the only option. However, at the last visit I learned that the tumors have remained stable in size, qualifying me for a medication protocol being conducted at the University of Pittsburgh Hospital. I was thrilled. The only caveat to the program was undergoing a specialized CAT scan.

I called immediately to schedule the test. I was shocked to learn that my insurance company was denying the authorization. I am used to being manipulated and pulled through hoops by my workman's compensation insurance company, but I have never encountered an issue with our personal health insurance. I was flabbergasted.

Because I am a cancer survivor, Scott and I have always chosen the highest level of coverage offered through his work. As the premiums continue to rise every year and with his salary remaining unchanged, this has been a sacrifice for our family. However, we realize the importance of quality health care and have not complained about the increasing financial burden.

Since we have the highest tier coverage, I suppose I was naive; I assumed that the insurance company would approve every medical test that was prescribed by my physicians. I was wrong.

After six weeks of leaving voice messages, writing emails and contacting various doctors, I have finally received approval for the scan and have it scheduled for this week. As it turns out, the scan is now of paramount importance.

I have had a seizure. I hadn't been feeling well throughout the day and had been experiencing headaches which are uncommon for me. I put Robby to bed and was hoping to go to sleep early. I was restless and uncomfortable in my own skin. I couldn't lay still despite being exhausted.

At first the movement was only my "cricket leg." I am used to my leg kicking involuntarily, and I wasn't concerned. I lamented that it was going to be a bad leg night and hoped that I would be able to sleep.

Then, all of a sudden I was enveloped with a warm, numb feeling. My ears started ringing as if I were underwater. I have never experienced a seizure, but somehow in that moment I knew what was happening.

I don't know much of what transpired in the seconds that followed. I remember my head violently turning from side to side, and my arms were flailing. I lost control of my bladder. I remember knowing that I couldn't stop the movements, and I was scared.

Almost as quickly as it started, it ended. I didn't know what to do. Should I try to sleep or stay awake? Scott was out with friends so he wasn't available to help. I knew that, although I know she wouldn't have minded, calling my Mom would have only caused her to worry and lose sleep. There was nothing anybody could do.

I have learned that most individuals diagnosed with pituitary tumors have suffered a seizure. As a matter of fact, it is surprising that this hasn't happened earlier. I have found some solace knowing that the growths are the likely cause and once they are eradicated, all of these symptoms will go away.

I am glad that the CAT scan is scheduled for this week, but I am frustrated that I had to battle to gain approval. I worry that the seizure is a signal that the tumors have grown in size. If this is the case, I am no longer a candidate for the medication protocol.

I can't help but blame the possible size increase of the growths and the subsequent seizure on the delay caused by my well compensated insurance company. Ironic that, in an attempt to save money, the insurance company has delayed my treatment to the point where I now may require a costlier surgery.

Apparently the money pinching little insurance trolls didn't calculate tumor growth potential into their financial equation! They lost their bet and will have to pay more. Unfortunately, I am paying the higher price. I have had a seizure and I am trying to deal with the rising fear of having another. I may have to have surgery instead of taking medication, and I won't be independent in taking care of my child for several weeks. Have I mentioned how much I despise insurance companies?