The Worm

I have had my fill of dealing with insurance companies and attorneys this week. In addition to trying to swim through the sea of red tape with my insurance adjuster, I was forced to spend a good part of yesterday in a office, surrounded by lawyers as I was giving a deposition.

I had the misfortune of being the soul witness to a serious auto accident. I have already testified at the trial, where a guilty verdict was delivered. Now the case has moved into civil court as the individual who was injured is trying to recover medical expenses from the insurance company. Have I mentioned how much I despise insurance companies?

I was annoyed by the deposition before it began. When the attorney initially called to schedule, I requested an afternoon meeting. I explained that, since my husband is working, child care is only available when he is home from work. The attorney seemed accommodating. Imagine my shock when the subpoena was delivered, specifying that I "present myself" at 10:00 am. To add further insult, the office was located nearly 90 minutes away.

Scott's school is in the middle of standardized testing, making requesting leave time virtually impossible. Thankfully my Mom was available to come down and watch Robby. I owe her dinner and cookies because she had to leave her house at 5:30 AM to be here in time. Early by most standards, exceptionally early when you are retired and not used to being rushed in the morning.

Thanks to my GPS I arrived at the office intact and on time. I met with both lawyers, the defendant and the court reporter. We were hoarded into a small meeting room, and the doors were closed.

Immediately the lawyer for the insurance company, whom I will simply refer to as "the worm" for the remainder of this post, began to question my "competency" because of my "physical impairment." I reminded him that my vision and hearing were intact, and that I was confident in what I witnessed. The worm was not deterred from his aggressive line of interrogation. I felt like I was on trial!

I was becoming annoyed, and I felt a growing sense of rage. We clashed when he questioned whether or not I was physically capable of responding to a crash scene. I felt like my integrity was being attacked.

When I become angry I have a difficult time holding my tongue. Instead of engaging in his level of questioning, I opted for a different approach. I looked at this man and responded by issuing a challenge. I simply stated that "I could whip you in a race. Would you care to go outside and see?"

In retrospect I think that this lawyer sensed my increasing hostility. He asked me if I had a bias against insurance companies. I had a brief moment where I knew what I was going to say, and I knew that I probably shouldn't say it. Before I had a chance to stop myself, I blurted out, "I am under oath, so I was sworn to be truthful. I do not believe I am biased against insurance companies. I do believe I am biased against lawyers who work for insurance companies. I am confident that there is a special ring in hell for those money pinching little trolls."

Taken aback by my forthright answer, I could see him visually grasping for a response. After several "uh uh uh's" he asked me if I knew that he was the lawyer for the insurance company. I simply said, "Yes, I do."

One of my pet peeves is when somebody who believes that they are the "authority" in a situation tries to exert control through intimidation. Little gives me more pleasure than combating that attitude through providing contradictory facts. I was provided with this opportunity.

The worm questioned my visual abilities. He tried using jargon such as peripheral field, gaze and focal distance. Obviously he did not research my background. In my former life, before I became a Mommy, I was a teacher for blind children. I know eyes! I was able to counter his theory and proceeded to explain why he was wrong. It felt so good!

The deposition continued to go downhill for the worm. He moved his line of questioning to the traffic light. He questioned whether or not I "understood" how the traffic cycle was programmed. He began to speak to me as if I was intellectually challenged.

"Yes, I understand the traffic cycle." I then proceeded, through a diagram, to show him how he had the analyzed the cycle incorrectly. He was becoming defensive and asked if I had an engineering degree as well as a "blind teaching" degree. I hate condescending people!

"No. But I did study at Michigan State University for my Masters Degree. I studied Orientation and Mobility, which is basically teaching blind people how to maneuver through their environments. I had to take two graduate level courses on analyzing traffic signals. I graduated with a 4.0." Slam Dunk! Take that you little worm.

For whatever reason, many people believe that a stay at home Mom is not intelligent. Combine that bias with my disability and these people believe that my IQ is dismal. I love debating with these people. I always win because, in order to have those perceptions, their intelligence is not nearly as great as they believe. The look on the worm's face when he was shown up by a one-legged stay at home Mommy was priceless, and almost made missing out on a beautiful day worthwhile!