Going Nutty!

I love the change of seasons. After the oppressive heat from the summer, waking up to cool air in the morning makes me feel invigorated. Robby and I can play outside all day in shorts and t-shirts without breaking a sweat. The days are becoming shorter, which means that I can slip into my pajamas after dinner and not feel guilty. Yes, autumn might be my favorite season.

Of course fall poses certain risks for the amputee. I had to fall only once to develop a deep respect for wet leaves on the pavement. We live in the woods surrounded by huge trees. In addition to shedding leaves every autumn, we discovered that trees also drop nuts.

We have had a huge nut issue this year. Our house sounds as if it is being firebombed when the slightest breeze passes. The nuts hitting the skylight at night is enough to jolt both of us from a deep sleep. Various nuts are littering our porch, driveway, walkway and street. Needless to say, I predict we are going to be seeing a lot of fat squirrels come spring.

I hate that the nuts have impacted my ability to play outside with Robby. Because of my prosthetic, I need to be cognizant of every step so that I don't lose my footing. Despite his constant protests, I have refused to race him. If I were to race Robby, it would be prudent for us to sprint towards the hospital because that would probably be my end destination.

I resent my amputation most when it interferes with everyday tasks. Right now, I find myself cursing both the nuts and my prosthetic when I am walking outside. I am having significant trouble walking without losing my footing and it just plain stinks!

Yesterday, Robby asked me if we could go outside to gather nuts for the squirrels. The weather was beautiful and, despite my hatred of the unstable nut field which used to be our yard, I didn't want to be inside. We gathered our buckets and headed out.

Robby was happily running through the yard picking up acorns and hickory nuts. If you have never seen a hickory nut, they are only slightly smaller than a baseball. The nuts fall from high branches on the tree, with our trees being about 70 feet tall. The nuts hit with a thud that causes the outer husk to break away.

When I was outside, looking down to avoid slipping and falling on the blasted nuts, a small hickory nut fell directly onto the top of my head. Slipping and falling on nuts is a danger, but I failed to appreciate the possibility of being clunked in the head. The pain was numbing and I immediately began to see stars.

Robby, upon seeing me get clunked in the head with a nut, broke into peals of laughter. Apparently, he saw something similar happen on a Backyardigans cartoon. I doubt that the little blue penguin from the cartoon was left with a pounding headache.

From now until all of the leaves and nuts have been shed from the trees, I am sure I will be the talk of the neighborhood. Staying inside is not going to be an option as Robby loves playing outside more than anything. Robby will be running ahead of me, wearing his bicycle helmet. I will be gingerly trudging along behind him, sporting the bright yellow Bob the Builder hardhat. Have I mentioned that I hate nuts?

In case you are not fluent in "Robby" yet, he is singing a song of his own creation titled "Big Fat Nuts are Falling Down"