Holy Sh*#!

This past Saturday, in lieu of going to "the wedding," I slipped on my "Greatest Aunt Ever" hat. I packed up my sister's three children and Robby and headed to Monkey Joe's--an inflatable play zone similar to House of Bounce. I knew that Robby and his cousins would love running, jumping and playing the afternoon away. I also knew that my mom and I would equally relish sitting down and relaxing!

As I was walking from the Monkey slide back to our table, I passed a woman whom I noticed was staring at my leg. I smiled and continued to pass her. I heard her loudly remark, "Holy sh*# look at her leg!" I turned and looked at her, but she was not phased by my visual contact. She continued to gawk.

Instinctively I wanted to respond, "Holy sh*# look at that ugly woman" but I opted to be the better person. This woman was brash and rude and, to be honest, I knew that she was not worth my time. I have become accustomed to glances, stares and comments concerning my prosthetic. Most of the time I am oblivious to the onlookers. Every once in awhile I find myself offended. This was the situation on Saturday.

I told the story to my mom when I returned to our table, and a few days later I retold the story to Scott. I made a drastic mistake in my decision to recount the incident. I forgot that I was in the presence of a little parrot!

Yesterday when we were visiting with our neighbor Mr. Bill, Robby lifted my pant leg and emphatically said, "Holy sh*# look at Momom's leg, Mr. Bill." The timing of this observation was odd considering that we were discussing sodding the lawn at the time. I explained what occurred a few days earlier, packed up Robby and headed home.

I proceeded to engage in a lengthy conversation about not repeating "that statement" because it was rude, hurtful to Mommy and inappropriate. He promised me that he understood and that he would never say it again. Foolishly, I believed him..

Yesterday during a trip to the grocery store, Robby lifted my pant leg and repeated the statement to the butcher, the man stacking bananas and an unsuspecting man buying toilet paper. Although the look on the faces of those individuals was priceless as my little cherub faced angel pointed to my prosthetic, I felt badly that they were put in such an awkward situation. Apparently all Robby seemed to gain from my lecture was that repeating "Holy sh*# look at Momom's leg" gets a reaction.

As he was strapped into the car seat on the drive home I scolded his behavior. I resorted to crying, explaining how that statement hurt my feelings and my heart. Yes, I was dramatic. It's amazing what a parent will do out of desperation!

Hopefully he will stop parroting the phrase, but only time will tell. I am not going to bring it up again for fear of sparking any ideas in his little mind. Today is supposed to be snowy and we won't be going anywhere. Perhaps it is a good day to make a "Sorry about my kid" sweatshirt just in case the lecture didn't stick.