Last week I spent a full day baking cakes from scratch for a cousin's wedding. I then spent three hours that night cleaning up the mess that was created in my kitchen! Thursday, the cakes were loaded into the back of my car along with all of my decorating supplies, the cake stand, clothes for Robby and me and various toys for a several day trip to Pennsylvania. I planned on decorating and assembling the cake at my mom's house since she lives close to the reception site.
I spent nearly four hours on Friday whipping up icing and decorating the three tiered cake. Although I had a wonderful time decorating the cake, the experience was bittersweet. Since children were not invited to either the wedding or the reception, I was not going to be able to witness the ceremony or attend the festivities.
Although it is not uncommon for weddings to be "no children" events, in our family this was the first time this designation has occurred. We have always embraced the little ones and include them whenever possible. As a family, we respected the Bride's decision to keep this an "adults only" event. (Privately we did find it an odd request considering that she was marrying a soon-to-be Minister and vows to love and adore children.) Unfortunately, the majority of our family was not going to be in attendance because of childcare issues.
Despite a precarious drive through the snow, the wedding cake was delivered and
assembled at the reception site on Friday afternoon. I was pleased with the result as I feel that the cake reflected the Bride's vision and style. I felt a sense of relief that the cake which traveled through three states was finally out of my hands and safely delivered!After spending hours and incurring a considerable expense to prepare a wedding cake, imagine my shock when I learned that I was misled. Children were invited and were in attendance from the Groom's family. Instead of our invitations reading "no children" perhaps the Bride should have stipulated "Not your children."
I feel used and manipulated in order to receive a wedding cake. I am disappointed in my distant cousin. Apparently I am good enough to bake and drive a wedding cake 150 miles through three states in the snow, but I was not wanted at her wedding or reception.
I remain angry and frustrated that I was misled. I witnessed her discussing the no children rule with many of my family members on Christmas. Not once did she or her fiance mention that the rule was only for her family. She knew that children would be in attendance, even included in her wedding party, yet she led us all to believe that the request was issued to all guests.
For whatever reason, my distant cousin did not want to include her family in her special day. We would have loved to have been a part of the celebration as she embarks on this new journey in life. I wish her all the luck in the world in her newly assumed role as a Minister's wife. It is ironic that this will be her vocation considering that she started out her married life by lying to her family.
Peggy,
ReplyDeleteThis is indeed a sad commentary about family politics and deception that, unfortunately, rings out all too often for caring people. Remember, this is an indictment about her character and not yours, a test which you passed with flying colors. One can only be responsible for their own behaviors. I hope that this incident, even with the huge disappointment, doesn't influence or jade you to rethink the beautiful gift that is you and your talents - even if it's wasted on a piss ant. In terms of a marriage ceremony to a preacher born in deception, the lack of integrity and hypocricy found in this metaphor is one of the reasons that so many people find organized religion lacking - rather than focusing on theology, morals and a life code, the emphasis is on appearance, trappings and rhetoric leading to bigotry and exclusion, rather than inclusion. A fact that I believe would make our true spiritual icons cringe - would Jesus lie to keep certain children away from a religious ceremony or discriminate to exclude certain members of his flock - I think not. In the long run, I think that you are better off not having your children exposed to this aberrant and dysfunctional behavior. I think that an appropriate punishment for lying in this instance is a lifetime ban on the taste of your delicious cakes.
"We would have loved to have been a part of the celebration as she embarks on this new journey in life." Why in God's name would you feel this way after what she pulled on you! Sounds like a pretty shallow person to me. Sorry if I offended you, but gee whiz...
ReplyDeleteI suppose I should have clarified. I did not realize her 'true colors' until this event. In retrospect, I am perfectly happy with the fact that I got to play with my little boy, niece and nephews for the day. I think I had more fun!
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