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I am a below knee amputee. More importantly, I am also Mommy to two boys, a very active 10 year old (Robby) and an mischievous toddler (Timmy). I have learned that being a parent with a disability can create some unusual and sometimes humorous situations. This blogger is available for hire! Let's talk and learn how a blog can expand your business.

Friday, September 09, 2011

My Last Day :(

I can't believe that Kindergarten starts on Monday. It feels like just yesterday I was watching Robby take his first steps. Didn't he just learn to say my name? He is growing up too fast, and it is tearing me apart.

I realize that I must sound pathetic lamenting Robby going to the "K word." I thought I would be ready to let him go--but I have come to the conclusion that I will never be prepared. I am simply going to have to do it and return home and cry until I pick him up. Mr. Bill promised to be on his porch with a cup of coffee (with a nip of brandy should it be necessary) and to keep me company on my first day of solitude.

Today is the last day that Robby and I will go through our normal routine. Although our schedule has modified and adjusted over time, we have remained fairly predictable during the past five years. Monday morning, everything will change.

I'm going to miss our lazy mornings together. I love him curling into me as I sip my coffee and he drinks his milk. We've probably read a library full of books in bed over the years! Monday, I will give him breakfast, pack him up and drive him to school. Full days at home will no longer be his norm.

He is going to be making new friends and having experiences without me. I know that this is normal and that he needs to break away in order to grow and learn. Still, I wouldn't be true to myself if I didn't acknowledge the pain I am feel in letting him go. I never imagined that being a mother would bring heartache and joy simultaneously. Sometimes, these seemingly conflicting emotions somehow work together.

With time, I know that we will both adjust to the change. I've been assured by scores of Moms that I will enjoy the time to myself. I will be working for my prosthetist, and the added income is a welcome relief. I won't have trouble filling the time, but I will be missing my little buddy!

Intellectually I know that his growing and spreading his wings is a good thing. We'll adjust to the schedule change and forge a new routine. That being said, I hate change! This morning I suspect I'm going to try to cuddle a little longer and read a few extra books as I desperately try to stop time. I know that Monday will be here before I know it, and, while he is excited beyond belief, I am having a difficult time. Would somebody please pass the cyber tissues? I think I'm going to shed a lot of tears this weekend.

3 comments:

  1. passing you two boxes of cyber tissues and searching for coupons so I can reload for you lol

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  2. You know the sadness will actually pass quickly. You will be sad the first couple of days, but Robby's excitement will overwhelm you. Going back to work will allow you to spread your wings as well. I can see a blog in the future that says, "I can't wait to take a vacation with the family." Instead of, "I really want to run away." Cyber tissues and Hugs coming your way, but I suspect, you won't make it through an entire box before you realize that the separation is good for both of you.

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  3. Peggy believe me it does get better but then when they go on to high school and really don't need mum and dad thats whe it get hard my baby started high school this week and i know now that before i know where i am they will leave school all together and be out there working.OH god now i need the cyber tissues.Take care peggy lots of love kathryn

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