Living with a limb loss would be a lot easier if I didn't have to contend with aggressive devotees. I find myself constantly looking over my shoulder when I am out alone, worried that I am being followed or stalked by somebody attracted to what is perceived as my weakness: my amputation. Over the years I've had several experiences of being trailed through stores, verbally compromised, and photographed without my permission. I have to say, not much surprises me anymore when dealing with this seedy population!
A few nights ago while I was trying to get Robby wound down and ready for bed, our home phone rang. Instinctively I looked at the caller ID and, not recognizing the number, proceeded to answer the phone. That was my first mistake of the evening.
The caller, a deep voiced man, asked to speak with Peggy. He claimed to working on a project surveying amputees across the country. Immediately my suspicions were aroused. Where did he receive my name, and how did he know if I were an amputee?
When I asked these questions, the man began to stammer. He finally said that he was a telemarketer who was just given the list, and that it probably came from the white pages. I knew he was lying. I am not that naive!
My second mistake of the evening was not hanging up the phone immediately. At first the inquiries were basic and did not seem extraordinary. I began to relax, thinking that I was being a worrywart.
My comfort did not last long. The caller began to pepper me with a series of highly inappropriate questions. After asking me to take my leg off (I did not comply) he asked me to describe what my "tender sexy stump" felt like. I heard him say, "I sure would love to smell and lick that beautiful bony stump" as I hung up. The one downside of cordless phones- slamming down the receiver loses its impact!
The confrontation shook me, and I was uneasy for the rest of the night. This man, this perverted and pathetic person, knew that I was an amputee and he knew my phone number. Thoughts of him coming to the house kept me awake. I finally drifted off to sleep after I found my crutch and put it next to the bed- just in case I needed a weapon. In the morning I stopped by the police station, providing them with a detailed account of the call and the number that was displayed on the caller ID.
Living with a limb loss has left me with a vulnerability that I detest. Statistically, I have a higher chance of being assaulted because I am an easier target. I know that I can't run away as quickly if I am confronted. This experience has forced me to reflect on increasing my own levels of defense. I'm going to make some phone calls this morning and sign up for a self-defense class. I hope that I never need the skills, but I will rest better knowing that I am competent protecting myself. I can't live "hoping" that nothing bad happens anymore.
About Me
- Peggy
- I am a below knee amputee. More importantly, I am also Mommy to two boys, a very active 10 year old (Robby) and an mischievous toddler (Timmy). I have learned that being a parent with a disability can create some unusual and sometimes humorous situations. This blogger is available for hire! Let's talk and learn how a blog can expand your business.
You might check on the concealed carry laws in your state, too.
ReplyDeleteDue to my activism I am sometimes called and harassed. And yet I post my phone number online.
ReplyDeleteHere is what I do, and what I recommend for you.
First, get a new personal phone number. Your old phone number is obviously compromised.
Second, sign up for Google Voice. (www.google.com/voice)
This will give you a second phone number that links to your first number. This is the phone number that you make public.
You can then use the Google Voice tools to record a call in progress, or block a phone number from ever calling you again. When calls go to voice mail, you don't have to listen to them, you can instead read the transcript of the voicemail (which adds a layer of detachment) and decide whether or not the call is worth your bother.
You can give labels to every phone number, (Example: CVS pharmacy, Mr. Roberts) and assign each to a group (Example: Family, Friends, Co-workers).
Google voice tends to act like a personal secretary, routing calls based upon who they are, and forcing some right to voicemail.
You can have one google voice number per google account ID per phone, or you can have all your phones ring from one number.
I've got two google voice numbers, and I love being able to turn off marketers, and record abusive callers. I love that they can call and get a, "I'm sorry, this number has been disconnected or is no longer in service" message merely because I've declared them persona non grata.
Due to my activism I am sometimes called and harassed. And yet I post my phone number online.
ReplyDeleteHere is what I do, and what I recommend for you.
First, get a new personal phone number. Your old phone number is obviously compromised.
Second, sign up for Google Voice. (www.google.com/voice)
This will give you a second phone number that links to your first number. This is the phone number that you make public.
You can then use the Google Voice tools to record a call in progress, or block a phone number from ever calling you again. When calls go to voice mail, you don't have to listen to them, you can instead read the transcript of the voicemail (which adds a layer of detachment) and decide whether or not the call is worth your bother.
You can give labels to every phone number, (Example: CVS pharmacy, Mr. Roberts) and assign each to a group (Example: Family, Friends, Co-workers).
Google voice tends to act like a personal secretary, routing calls based upon who they are, and forcing some right to voicemail.
You can have one google voice number per google account ID per phone, or you can have all your phones ring from one number.
I've got two google voice numbers, and I love being able to turn off marketers, and record abusive callers. I love that they can call and get a, "I'm sorry, this number has been disconnected or is no longer in service" message merely because I've declared them persona non grata.