Yesterday morning I woke up feeling like I had been hit by a truck. Other than my plastic toes, everything was sore. I knew that working with a trainer would push me to my limits; I just wasn't expecting it to be so painful!
It took nearly five minutes of an internal pep talk before I dared move out of bed. I tried to bend down to pick up my liner when my back and hamstrings instantly let me know their presence. I still think of myself as young and spry. Yesterday my body reminded me that I am middle aged and out of shape.
Today I go back to the gym and face my executioner- err.. I mean trainer. So far I have done well holding my tongue, but today I fear that might change. Although I'm not trained in physiology, some of the exercises simply don't make any sense.
For example, my working on calf lifts seems illogical considering that I only have one calf. It is fine to work my existing leg, but why do I have to pretend to do a lift on my prosthetic? Telling me to just "squeeze the muscle" inside my socket just sounds silly and is a waste of time. I don't want to strengthen my calf on my stump. If it grows in girth, my leg will no longer fit!
Most of single leg balance comes from the ankle. I am missing an ankle; hence, my balance is going to be compromised on my prosthetic side. Encouraging me to balance on my prosthetic and lift an 8 pound weight over my head feels like a recipe for disaster. I can clearly envision tipping over and dropping the weight on top of my head, knocking myself out, and breaking my nose as I fall to the ground. I don't want to break my nose.
I have been hesitant to refer to my amputation when asked to perform the exercises. I have never been one to use it as an excuse (unless it meant leaving a party early but that is a subject for a different blog) and I want to be viewed as able bodied whenever possible. However, it is becoming obvious that my trainer needs more guidance from me about adapting at least a few of these exercises. After all, if I don't speak up and continue to try to please the trainer, I fear I could end up in traction.
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