True Confessions

Confessions in Motherhood:

1. Everyday I receive an email that Robby and his classmates write at school. At the end of the email each student is asked to answer the same question. On Friday the question posed was, "What are you going to do this weekend?" Robby's classmates responded with answers such as "I'm going skiing" or "I am going to my Grandma's house." Robby wrote, "I am going to get man food at Sheetz and then me and my Dad will play XBox without wearing our pants." 

For the record and contrary to how it sounded, Robby does not play XBox naked. He was referring to wearing his pajama bottoms instead of his jeans. Unfortunately that was not conveyed in the email. Yikes!

2. When the lady in the meat department complimented Robby's army pants, in addition to saying thank you he felt compelled to add that "the deep pockets make it easier for me to scratch my privates. I bet you didn't know I was doing that while you were slicing the ham for us, did you?"  I think I need to find a new deli.

3.  A few days ago I walked by the bathroom and thought I saw Robby standing on the vanity. I opened the door to find him standing in the sink, with his pants down to his knees, trying to pee into the toilet which was on the other side of the room.  He was not successful, which is the real reason I had to scrub the floor.

4.  Robby has discovered a wonderful epicurean delight in the form of a Hot Pocket. He is so taken with this treat that Saturday morning he asked for one for breakfast. Tired and trying to buy time until the caffeine began to work, I agreed to the unorthodox breakfast. When I handed it to him, he hesitated and asked me to wait. He took off the blanket and hopped off the couch, which was the first time I realized that he was naked. "Hang on Momom. I'd better put on pants because that hot cheese might hurt if it drips on my privates."  I still don't know why he took his pants off in the first place!

5. A friend from down the street came to play on Saturday. I was in the computer room working on a web page when I came out to check on the pair. I asked if they wanted a snack to which Robby proudly proclaimed that he had taken care of it. It was then I noticed that they were both chewing on their own tube of raw cookie dough. 

I'm giving up on the Mother Of The Year award!